Month: October 2020

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Doubt, Optimism, and Decisions – Five Boosts 10/27/20

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Doubt, Optimism, and Decisions – Five Boosts 10/27/20

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 10/27/20

Photo by Jill Wellington from Pexels

How to Overcome Self-Doubt – Secrets to Believing In Yourself

(Tanuj Sarva | INYK | 1175 words)

Self-doubt can hold us back from achieving our goals. Common reasons for self doubt are:

  • Comparing ourselves to others
  • Being our own worst critic
  • Overthinking things
  • Fear of failure

Some ways to overcome this are:

  • Make a decision within 5 seconds
  • Direct all your energy in one direction instead of splitting your focus
  • Accept that progress isn’t linear
  • Be okay with mistakes – you’re still learning

10 Incredibly Easy Ways to Live Life Better

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2100 words)

Ways to live better that don’t take any effort, willpower, or time-commitment, including:

  • Write down your goals every day
  • Turn off notifications
  • Don’t take one-size-fits-all advice
  • Realize that nobody has it all figured out
  • Be grateful for the modern world
  • Assign names to your problems and negative feelings

How to Become an Optimist: 3 Daily Habits

(Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | 525 words | Subscribe)

To become more of an optimist:

  • Ask yourself questions to help see the optimistic viewpoint
  • Get optimistic support from the world around you
  • Start your day in an optimism creating way

How to Change a Habit Using This One Simple Rule

(Dean Yeong | deanyeong.com | 775 words)

Yeong suggests that to change habits, start small, and do slightly more each day.

I write a lot about habits. I even named my weight loss book after them. I think this advice might be a bit oversimplified, but it’s certainly a good place to start.

Your Guide to Making Big Decisions

(Sunny Fitzgerald | TheLily | 1850 words)

If you’re struggling with a difficult decision:

  • Assess the moment
  • Make sure you’re in the right state of mind
  • Put time aside to really think about it
  • Get advice, especially from people with different points of view
  • Do the best with what you’ve got
  • Have hope

I found this in Tuseet Jha’s Happier Today newsletter.

See also: Eight Things to Consider When Evaluating Risk

Bonus Boost

Celebrate Your Diet

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 900 words)

Your diet will be much more successful if you see it as an act of joy, and not a miserable burden.

You need a sense of pride and excitement to reward yourself for good eating decisions, in order to turn those good decisions into an automatic habit you’ll be able to keep for life.

If you’re dieting out of a sense of shame, you’ll make yourself miserable. You’ll be motivated to quit so you can stop feeling that shame and misery.

But if you focus on excitement for what your future body will give you, then all your motivation will be to keep going, and to keep that body once you achieve it.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

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Creativity, Happiness, And Sleep – Five Boosts 10/20/20

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Creativity, Happiness, And Sleep – Five Boosts 10/20/20

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 10/20/20

Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

14 More Incredibly Easy Ways to Sleep Better

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2150 words)

Sleeping better will improve your life in every way.

It will make you happier, more productive, improve your relationships, and allow you to get more done.

Here are some methods to sleep better that don’t take any effort, willpower, time-commitment, or sacrifice.

Related: 15 Incredibly Easy Ways to Improve Your Sleep

5 Subconscious Behaviors Guaranteed to Kill Your Creativity

(Tuseet Jha | tuseetjha.com | 1325 words | Subscribe)

Everyone can be creative. But you may be sabotaging yourself by doing the following:

  1. You don’t think you can be creative.
  2. You refuse to try new experiences.
  3. You assume you are the expert in what you know.
  4. You don’t challenge your assumptions.
  5. You wait for inspiration to strike.

Also, thank you to Tuseet Jha for recommending my Incredibly Easy series in his newsletter.

How to Be Happy in Hard Times

(Melissa Burkley PhD | Psychology Today | 1050 words)

A lot of people are going through difficult times these days. But there are still things you can do to increase your happiness:

  1. Listen to music.
  2. Focus on values.
  3. Connect with others in new ways.
  4. Get outside.
  5. Be grateful.

A 5-Step Road Map for Saying ‘No’

(Erin Zammett Ruddy | Forge | 350 words)

To avoid overcommitting yourself, you need to learn how to politely say “no.” Remember, every time you say “yes” to something, you’re also saying “no” to whatever you would have used that time for.

  1. Remind yourself time is valuable and you can’t get it back.
  2. Ask yourself if you’d be willing to do it tomorrow.
  3. Respond quickly.
  4. Own your “no” if it’s not a priority.
  5. Reframe your “no” if it’s something you wish you had time for.

I found this article in the Recomendo newsletter.

Getting Things Done

(Julia Evans | jvns.ca | 1075 words)

I generally don’t include productivity systems in Five Boosts, because I don’t believe there’s One True Method of Doing Things. Different strategies work for different people.

However this article is more about mindset, and I think it will be helpful to most people.

Evans suggests you:

  • Have a vision
  • Focus by doing one or two things at a time
  • Learn how to break things down
  • Get something done every day
  • Talk to someone when you get stuck
  • Don’t be scared of small problems
  • Do whatever’s necessary
  • Have deadlines
  • Believe in yourself
  • Know you can do a lot

Note that this article is unrelated to the David Allen “Getting Things Done” productivity system.

I found this in Trevor McKendrick’s How it Actually Works newsletter.

Bonus Boost

Don’t Let a Slip Up Make You Give Up

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 825 words)

Everyone makes mistakes.

This is true when trying to lose weight, and it’s true in any other life improvement.

Making a mistake shouldn’t be an excuse to quit.

You should simply learn from it, forgive yourself, and do your best going forward.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

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Perseverance, Growth, And Drama – Five Boosts 10/11/20

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Perseverance, Growth, And Drama – Five Boosts 10/11/20

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 10/11/20

Photo by VisionPic .net from Pexels

Yesterday I was feeling tired and unmotivated, and mentioned to my wife, “I have to work on my newsletter.”

She then corrected me: I don’t have to work on my newsletter. I get to work on my newsletter.

It was a good reminder that the choices we make in life are our own, and I assemble Five Boosts every week because I love it.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to send helpful articles out to my audience, and I appreciate you being there to read it.

How to Stop Being Offended by Everyone (in Just 13 Steps)

(Kelly Albano | Dumb Little Man | 775 words)

Getting offended is a choice that you make. Recognizing that will make your life a lot happier.

If you feel yourself starting to get offended, take some deep breaths, and consider the source. Think about whether they really meant offense.

Try and separate yourself from the situation, and examine why you feel victimized. Send loving energy to where you’re hurt.

Listen to the opposing perspective. Don’t try to change other people. Wait before responding. Focus on positivity.

Remember, getting offended hurts you a lot more than it hurts the person you’re offended by.

Related:This satirical ad for “I’m Offended” t-shirts. (Not an affiliate link, and I don’t think the shirts are still available.)

18 Ways to Make Chores Easier

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1875 words)

If you can get chores done in less time, that lets you do more of what you really care about. You’re essentially adding time to your life.

Suggestions include:

  • Pull weeds whenever you see them, instead of waiting for them to get worse.
  • Wash a dish when you wash your hands.
  • Keep a stockpile of non-perishable goods so you don’t have to make emergency grocery runs.
  • Use a shared shopping list app that syncs throughout your household (and smart speakers, if you have them), and add things to your shopping list as soon as you think of them.
  • Listen to audiobooks while driving or doing other tasks that don’t take concentration.

10 Things to Do on Days When You Just Want to Give Up

(Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | 1550 words)

When things aren’t going well and you’re losing your will, try these methods:

  1. Tap into realistic expectations
  2. Remind yourself why you’re doing this
  3. Remember it’s darkest before the dawn
  4. Reconnect with the basics
  5. Learn more and course-correct
  6. Tell yourself: Just for today!
  7. Connect with people around you to let it out
  8. Look back and celebrate how far you’ve come
  9. Cut yourself some slack and take a break
  10. See if it’s time to quit and try something else

3 (Pretty Simple) Ways to Remove Yourself From Drama

(Courtney Carver | Be More With Less | 600 words)

Drama saps our energy, time, and happiness, but can be addictive. To avoid it:

  1. Be honest with yourself. You’re telling yourself a story, but is it a true story? Seriously ask this, and try to see things from another perspective. Also be honest about your motivations for the drama. Is it boredom, fear of direct communication, or habit?
  2. Be quiet. Drama requires your participation. Not everything requires your input. If you simply stay silent, you won’t be involved in the drama.
  3. Be selective about who you choose to spend your time with, and how you choose to spend your time. Ask if you really want to get involved, if your input will actually help, and if there are better things you could be doing.

15 Ideas You Can Steal to Make the Next 12 Months a Period of Remarkable Growth

(Tim Denning | The Ascent at Medium | 1450 words)

Some of the best suggestions here include:

  • Forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it
  • Take an unconventional online course to learn a new skill
  • Write your thoughts down
  • Notice the story you tell yourself
  • Clear out your junk
  • Be more careful about the books you read

Bonus Boost

Six Easy Ways to Stop Mindless Eating

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1125 words)

You can avoid mindless eating by:

  1. Never eat straight from a multi-serving package
  2. Use chewing gum
  3. If you’ll be distracted during your meal, prepare your plate ahead of time
  4. Split your food in half immediately
  5. Don’t stand near the food table at parties
  6. Never eat while drunk or on drugs

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

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Love, Friendship, and Worries – Five Boosts 10/4/20

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Love, Friendship, and Worries – Five Boosts 10/4/20

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 10/4/20

Photo by Jack Sparrow from Pexels

How to Make Friends as an Adult

(Marisa Franco | Psyche | 3,250 words)

Having a network of friends is one of the biggest factors in happiness. But making new friends once you leave school is difficult for many people.

To do so, you should first assume that people will like you. Then put in the effort to initiate things and connect with people, rather than just assuming friendships will happen automatically. Get vulnerable with people so you can have meaningful shared emotional experiences.

One less obvious suggestion is to find situations where you will repeatedly interact with people, such as classes, book clubs, co-working spaces, church, or community organizations. It’s easier to make friends with people you see over and over than in one-off situations like a networking event.

16 Incredibly Easy Ways to Be More Organized At Home

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2,000 words)

Ways to improve your home that take no willpower, minimal cost, and will ultimately save you time and effort.

Highlights include:

  • Make sure every item has a place that it belongs
  • Keep pens, a notepad, knife or box-cutter, scissors, kleenex, and small trash can in every room
  • Use pill organizers
  • Store things with other items that are used together
  • Use painter’s tape to label things
  • Write expiration dates in easy-to-read sharpie

30 Things Men Wish Women Knew in Dating

(January Nelson summarizing a Reddit thread | Thought Catalog | 1,200 words)

The key takeaways from this thread are:

Be straightforward in your communication, don’t play games, and don’t expect a man to be a mind-reader. Also recognize that men are straightforward and mean what they say.

Be willing to make compromises, and let him have his own space, hobbies, time, and friends.

Treat him well and show him he’s loved. Things like affection, gifts, compliments, and initiating intimacy are appreciated.

Don’t expect men to change, and especially don’t think you can change a man.

If you aren’t interested in a man or want to break up, tell him directly and as soon as possible. “Letting him down easy,” giving hints, or “waiting for the right time,” is much crueler.

As a man who’s been happily married for 13 years, I agree with all this advice. (And I think much of it applies to women as well.)

5 Steps to Put and End to Your Worries

(Dr. Tchiki Davis | Relationship Development & Transformation | 625 words)

To worry less:

  1. Explore the origins of your worries.
  2. Identify your particular worry pattern
    • Catastrophizing
    • Minimization
    • All-or-nothing thinking
    • Overgeneralization
    • Negative attention
    • Rumination
    • Mind-reading
  3. Exercise
  4. Try mindfulness
  5. Talk to someone

Improve Your Marriage By Watching Romantic Comedies Together

(Sarah Dillon | The Ladders | 650 words)

Couples that watch a romantic comedy together and then spend half an hour discussing it can reduce their chances of divorce down the line by up to 50%.

It gives them an opportunity to discuss relationship behaviors and mistakes in a non-threatening environment, by looking through the lens of fictional characters. This allows them to understand their partner’s needs and wants, and adjust their own behaviors.

Bonus Boost

Intermittent Fasting is Easy When You Call It Skipping Breakfast

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 625 words)

“Intermittent Fasting” is a popular diet trend, that you may have dismissed as way too hard.

But it’s really a fancy and intimidating name given to the practice of limiting your meals to an eight hour window each day.

Which you can easily do, simply by skipping breakfast.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

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