Tag: goals

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Five Boosts To Get Back on Track

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Five Boosts To Get Back on Track
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 2/16/21

Today’s boosts are about getting back on track.

There was no Five Boosts last week. Monday night, my van was totaled by a hit-and-run driver. (I’m fine) I spent the rest of the week getting a rental car, cleaning out the wreckage, and working on a replacement, while launching my Excel business, and caring for the foster dogs that took over my life. Plus I got sick for a bit. (Not COVID, and I’m better now).

The good news is we’ve placed two of the dogs, and the one remaining is much less of a time burden.

Enough about me. On to the Boosts.

Reward Good Behavior Instead of Criticizing Bad Behavior

(Self-Helping Yourself | Steven Ray Marks | 1000 words)

If you want someone to improve or change, reward and encourage the desired behavior. Don’t punish or criticize bad behavior. Punishment just makes someone unhappy and gets them to dislike you. This is true for animals, employees, family, and yourself.

If you punish yourself for flaws or mistakes, it builds depression, anxiety, and self-hatred. To improve, instead celebrate your achievements and growth.

How to Motivate Yourself When Things Are Not Going Exactly The Way You Want

(Charles Vallena | The Inspiring Journal | 1000 words)

When things don’t go right, it’s easy to lose motivation. Which makes things go worse.

To keep your motivation:

  • Pause to gain more insight.
  • Process and analyze your emotions and thoughts.
  • Take a break.
  • Focus on what you can do.
  • Find motivation from your accomplishments.

Give Yourself Credit: The Essential Habit Behind Self-Esteem

(Steven Handel | The Emotion Machine | 675 words)

People obsess over their flaws, but ignore their accomplishments. 

To fight this, give yourself points for achievements – even minor ones.

Be an easy grader, giving yourself credit for minor things like brushing your teeth or gratitude.

Related: Optimism and Pessimism are Self-Fulfilling

Creative Burnout: When the Creativity Tap Runs Dry

(Anne-Laure Le Cunff | Ness Labs | 1800 words)

Creatives sometimes burnout. Recognize the signs, and how to overcome it.

Get support. Take a break. Do some self-reflection. Look at your past work for inspiration. Do the smallest piece of creative work to build momentum. And be kind to yourself.

Even better, avoid burnout by building the right habits, taking breaks, and skipping anxiety-inducing information sources.

Related: Disembarking From the Failboat

5 Critical Mistakes to Avoid When Goal-Setting

(Anouare Abdou | The Ladders | 850 words)

You will likely fail to achieve your goals if you make these mistakes:

  • No timeline.
  • No accountability.
  • Not being well-rounded.
  • Being too conceptual.
  • Trying to do too much.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Excel: Beginner to Rockstar

As I mentioned in the intro, I’m launching a new business.

Before switching to Self-Improvement and Weight Loss, I spent 20 years in Accounting and Finance for start-ups, rising to the level of CFO. Now I’m putting my expertise to use teaching Excel.

Could winning at Excel win your next job?

Or save you hundreds of hours as an entrepreneur?

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to increase your Excel skills 100% or more in four weeks. You’ll be able to get twice as much done in half the time, amaze your boss and potential employers, and enjoy unparalleled job security.

Rockstar Excel Presents

Excel: Beginner to Rockstar Course

Starting March 18, 2021

Are you an entrepreneur who struggles to finish everything?

Are you an employee whose career is stuck in neutral?

Are you looking to become more efficient and organized?

Would you like to get more done in less time?

Mastering Excel could be the solution!

Imagine taking minutes to complete what used to take you hours. Picture what you could do with five extra hours a week. What if you never had to worry about layoffs, because your skills made you too valuable for your company to lose?

I want to rock Excel
and get my free Expense Tracker

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

Enjoy Five Boosts? Please consider buying me a coffee.

I work hard reviewing hundreds of articles a week to find five that contain the best advice on easy ways to improve your life.

As well as writing the posts for Self Helping Yourself, and Rockstar Excel.

If you can’t donate, you can always help by subscribing, recommending Five Boosts, Self Helping Yourself, or any articles to your friends, or by rating/reviewing The Weight Loss Habit on Amazon. (If you’ve read it.)

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Five Boosts for When You Struggle – 1/26/21

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Five Boosts for When You Struggle – 1/26/21
Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 1/26/21

Today’s Boosts are about when you struggle.

A personal note: Things have been tough for me lately.

We recently rescued a special needs dog with two puppies from a neglectful situation.

Photo by author

Caring for and cleaning up after three large, untrained, unhousebroken dogs, who need to be separated from the cat we’re already fostering, is extremely labor-intensive and time-consuming.

I’m already in crunchtime launching my new business, plus some other things haven’t been going right for me. The added exhaustion and sleep-deprivation make everything harder.

I always say it’s okay to admit you’re having difficulties, and you shouldn’t feel bad about feeling bad.

If you’re also struggling, here are some articles that may be helpful.

10 Tips to Look After Your Mental Health During a Crisis

(Rachel Stray | 1200 words)

When you go through a mental health crisis, keep it from spiraling out of control:

  • Create a daily routine.
  • Limit news consumption.
  • Keep a sleep pattern.
  • Keep your mind active.
  • Connect with others.

How to Bounce Back From Failure

(Michael Hyatt | 450 words)

Resilience is a choice. Inevitably things go wrong in life. To overcome adversity:

  1. Keep a written record of wins.
  2. Stay focused on objectives.
  3. Take care of your health.

Overcoming Learned Helplessness

(Anne-Laure Le Cunff | Ness Labs | 775 words)

When bad things repeatedly happen, you may start expecting them. Feeling helpless prevents you from succeeding, even if you otherwise could.

Get out of this trap by remembering:

  • Problems may have external causes and not be your own failures.
  • Problems may be temporary and solvable.
  • Problems may be specific to certain situations, and not apply to others.

Related: Optimism and Pessimism are Self-Fulfilling

How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Move Toward Your Goals

(Azubike Eze | Spirit Times | 1700 words)

Tactics to beat self-doubts, such as:

  • Ask what’s the worst that can happen.
  • Don’t wait to feel confident.
  • Look for opportunities to say yes.
  • Attribute success to your own merit.
  • Give yourself permission to be imperfect.

Here’s When Self-Improvement Becomes Ineffective

(Jasmine Rice | Addicted 2 Success | 950 words)

Sometimes self-improvement books, seminars, blogs, etc. become a toxic addiction instead of helping your life.

If you constantly chase self-improvement because you think you’re not good enough, instead of actually doing things that genuinely make life better, or actually living life, take a step back and be happy with who you are now.

Related: Don’t Challenge Yourself

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Excel: Beginner to Rockstar

As I mentioned in the intro, I’m launching a new business.

Before switching to Self-Improvement and Weight Loss, I spent 20 years in Accounting and Finance for start-ups, rising to the level of CFO. Now I’m putting my expertise to use teaching Excel.

Could winning at Excel win your next job?

Or save you hundreds of hours as an entrepreneur?

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to increase your Excel skills 100% or more in four weeks. You’ll be able to get twice as much done in half the time, amaze your boss and potential employers, and enjoy unparalleled job security.

Rockstar Excel Presents

Excel: Beginner to Rockstar Course

Starting March 18, 2021

Are you an entrepreneur who struggles to finish everything?

Are you an employee whose career is stuck in neutral?

Are you looking to become more efficient and organized?

Would you like to get more done in less time?

Mastering Excel could be the solution!

Imagine taking minutes to complete what used to take you hours. Picture what you could do with five extra hours a week. What if you never had to worry about layoffs, because your skills made you too valuable for your company to lose?

I want to rock Excel
and get my free Expense Tracker

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

Enjoy Five Boosts? Please consider buying me a coffee.

I work hard reviewing hundreds of articles a week to find five that contain the best advice on easy ways to improve your life.

As well as writing the posts for Self Helping Yourself, and Rockstar Excel.

If you can’t donate, you can always help by subscribing, recommending Five Boosts, Self Helping Yourself, or any articles to your friends, or by rating/reviewing The Weight Loss Habit on Amazon. (If you’ve read it.)

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Judgment, Relationships, And Goals – Five Boosts 9/27/20

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Judgment, Relationships, And Goals – Five Boosts 9/27/20

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 9/27/20

Photo by Sara Dubler on Unsplash

3 Helpful Tips to Quiet Your Inner Critic

(Ally Ines | Purpose Fairy | 1,050 words)

Insecurity can paralyze us, keep us from improving our lives, and make everything harder. To combat it:

  1. Give your inner critic a name. An actual person’s name, to help distance yourself from it.
  2. Do something you’ve been putting off. Accomplish some nagging task on your to-do list.
  3. Prepare content for your darkest moments. Gather images, articles, quotes, etc. for you to go to when you’re feeling down or having a freak-out.

12 Incredibly Easy Ways to Save Money on Utilities and Vehicles

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2,300 words)

It isn’t the most exciting topic. But utilities and vehicles are large recurring expenses, and finding easy ways to save money on them can have a significant impact on our lives.

  1. Replace your HVAC filter every 3 months
  2. Put your e-mail address on your phone’s lock screen
  3. Threaten to cancel your cable if they don’t lower your bill
  4. Buy your own internet equipment instead of renting from your provider
  5. Get a smart thermostat
  6. Get oil changes on the manufacturer’s schedule, not every 3 months
  7. Get referrals to an honest mechanic
  8. Buy slightly used cars, except for economy cars
  9. Buy cars at the end of the year or month
  10. Use TrueCar or Edmunds when buying cars
  11. Get pre-qualified for a bank or credit union loan before car shopping
  12. Never get the extended warranty – on anything

And a final piece of advice, which will help your happiness rather than your bank account:

  1. Don’t get hung up over small amounts of money

10 Steps to Achieve Goals

(Remez Sasson | Success Consciousness | 475 words)
  1. Be specific with what you want to achieve
  2. Draw up a plan of action
  3. Make a list of steps
  4. Act, do not be passive
  5. Read and listen to advice
  6. Alternative plans
  7. Examine your goals periodically
  8. Repeat affirmations
  9. Visualize your goals
  10. Take action

How to Overcome the Fear of Being Judged

(Justin Aldridge | Dumb Little Man | 975 words)

Fear of being judged can hold you back and keep you from going after your goals. To combat this, remember the following:

  1. You’re not that important. People are generally thinking about their own lives, not about you.
  2. You shouldn’t care about the opinions of those who are judging you. If someone’s enough of a jerk to look down on you, that’s someone you probably don’t want in your life anyway.
  3. You can have your dreams or your fear of judgment, but not both. You’ll have to push past the fear to achieve your dreams.

11 Valuable Relationship Lessons

(Summary of Dr. Phil | LoudLife35 | 1,475 words)

A summary of the book Relationship Rescue by “Dr. Phil” McGraw.

As someone who has been very happily married for 13 years (our anniversary is this week), I very much agree with all of the advice in this article.

Note: I haven’t read the book and can only comment on the article summarizing it, not the book as a whole.

  1. There’s nothing wrong with legitimate criticism or input, as long as it’s constructive and not fault-finding
  2. Passive aggression is just as harmful as open aggression
  3. Don’t get too complacent
  4. There’s no right or wrong way to make a relationship great
  5. Accept your partner
  6. Focus on the friendship in your relationship

[Personally, I’d say this is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, and one that’s often overlooked. The person you marry should be your best friend. – SRM]

  1. Aim your frustrations in the right direction
  2. Be up-front and forthright
  3. Make yourself happy rather than right
  4. Allow your relationship to transcend turmoil
  5. Make your needs known

Bonus Boost

Goal Weights Don’t Work

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 800 words)

Having a goal weight when dieting is a mistake.

It will lead to you losing weight in the short-term, but then gaining that weight right back (with interest) right after you reach your goal.

Instead, you should focus on building sustainable habits that you’re able to keep for the rest of your life.

Then find a balance between eating habits you’re happy with and a body you’re happy with.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

I usually use this space to share something thoughtful or inspirational, but this week I’m doing something different.

Here is a thread on thirteen self-help books that offer an immediate improvement to your life.

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

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Fear, Investing, And Impostors – Five Boosts 8/2/20

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Fear, Investing, And Impostors – Five Boosts 8/2/20

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 8/2/20

The Incredibly Simple, One Sentence Guide to Investing

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1700 words)

The one sentence is:

“Once you’ve paid off all your credit card debt, invest as much as you can in your 401k, and park your money in an index fund without paying any attention to the market.”

That’s all you need to know about investing.

Anything more complicated will give you worse results.

The article gives more detail on why this is the case, what an index fund is, and how to pick which index fund, so it’s definitely worth reading. (If I do say so myself. 😉)

21 Ways to Overcome Impostor Syndrome

(Kyle Eschenroeder | Startup Bros. | 3100 Words)

Impostor Syndrome is the feeling that you’re not qualified to be doing your job, and that everyone will realize you’re a fraud. It’s shockingly common, even among elites and experts.

It’s hard to summarize this lengthy article, because each of the 21 diverse suggestions will resonate with different people.

But if this is something you ever suffer from, or you ever haven’t pursued something you wanted because you thought you weren’t qualified, I highly recommend reading this.

I found this article in For the Interested, which gives advice mainly directed toward online creators, but is useful for everyone.

Optimism 2020: A Manifesto

(Trevor McKendrick | How It Actually Works | 450 Words | Subscribe)

Fifteen suggestions on being more optimistic, including:

  • Focus on things you can influence.
  • Do something today instead of daydreaming about tomorrow.
  • Move fast. Most decisions can be reversed later.
  • Recognize the pie is not fixed and life is not zero sum.
  • Believe we can solve any problem.

6 Strategies to Overcome Fear

(Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | 1400 Words | Subscribe)

  1. Ask what’s the worst that can happen.
  2. Write out the fear.
  3. Change your perspective.
  4. Question your fears and what they’re based on.
  5. Breathe and take a moment to accept the fear.
  6. Take small steps forward.

How to Change Your Personality For the Better

(Olga Khazan | Next Big Idea Club | 600 Words | Subscribe)

Most people assume that their personality is fixed.

But you actually can change your personality if you want.

All you have to do is act the way you want your personality to be, and eventually your personality will change to follow your actions.

I found this in Nir Eyal’s Nir and Far newsletter.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

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Giraffe Punching, Apologies, and Goals – Five Boosts 7/26/20

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Giraffe Punching, Apologies, and Goals – Five Boosts 7/26/20
Giraffe Punching

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 7/26/20

Stop Giraffe Punching to Be More Tolerant, Less Stressed, Have a Better Outlook, and Be Happier Overall

(Self Helping Yourself | Steven Ray Marks)

Giraffe Punching is repeatedly lecturing an audience that already agrees with you, or telling them to stop doing something none of them are doing, in a condescending and insulting way.

The term comes from it being pointless to yell at people to stop punching giraffes.

This is something that everyone does, when they get frustrated by bad behavior in the world and then take it out on the wrong people.

But making a conscious effort to stop will make you happier, improve your relationships, and improve your perspective on the world.

How to Talk to People Who Disagree With You and Still Be Kind

(Tanya Basu | MIT Technology Review)

I changed the headline of this article.

It’s actually about talking to conspiracy theorists, but it’s excellent advice for talking to anyone who disagrees with you.

Speak respectfully, privately, and test the waters first.

Find an element you agree on.

Use a “truth sandwich” or Socratic method.

Be careful with loved ones, remember that some people don’t want to change, and if it gets bad, stop.

And remember that even if you don’t change someone’s mind, every pleasant interaction you have makes people more open to your view. (Though unpleasant interactions make them even more skeptical of your view.)

See also: How to Win Allies and How to Stop Making Enemies.

How Good Apologies Enhance Our Well-Being

(Molly Howes, Ph.D. | Mind Body Green)

Being more willing to genuinely apologize after wronging someone will lead to better relationships and increased self-respect.

It also provides a good example for children, helping them develop a sense of empathy.

A good apology involves understanding the other person’s injury, articulating sincere regret, making reparations, and making a plan so it doesn’t happen again.

25 Ways to Dramatically Increase Your Chances of Reaching Your Goals

(Ayodeji Awosika | Medium)

Some suggestions include:

Write your goals down. Get quick wins. Don’t brag about things you haven’t yet done. Focus on one thing at a time. And align goals with positivity.

I agree with most of the 25 items on this list, but not all of them. I suspect Awosika would be totally fine with that, since one of the items is “Don’t be a self-help robot.”

So pick and choose the suggestions that you think will work well for you.

5 Habits to Take Action Every Day

Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | Subscribe)

Change requires consistent daily action. But it can be hard to maintain motivation to keep that action going.

To fight this:

1. Focus on the process rather than results.

2. Remember why you are taking action.

3. Remember quitting or laziness will make you feel bad about yourself.

4. Take smaller steps on days when big ones seem too daunting.

5. Celebrate what you did each day.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

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