Posted in: Uncategorized

Judgment, Relationships, And Goals – Five Boosts 9/27/20

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 9/27/20

Photo by Sara Dubler on Unsplash

3 Helpful Tips to Quiet Your Inner Critic

(Ally Ines | Purpose Fairy | 1,050 words)

Insecurity can paralyze us, keep us from improving our lives, and make everything harder. To combat it:

  1. Give your inner critic a name. An actual person’s name, to help distance yourself from it.
  2. Do something you’ve been putting off. Accomplish some nagging task on your to-do list.
  3. Prepare content for your darkest moments. Gather images, articles, quotes, etc. for you to go to when you’re feeling down or having a freak-out.

12 Incredibly Easy Ways to Save Money on Utilities and Vehicles

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2,300 words)

It isn’t the most exciting topic. But utilities and vehicles are large recurring expenses, and finding easy ways to save money on them can have a significant impact on our lives.

  1. Replace your HVAC filter every 3 months
  2. Put your e-mail address on your phone’s lock screen
  3. Threaten to cancel your cable if they don’t lower your bill
  4. Buy your own internet equipment instead of renting from your provider
  5. Get a smart thermostat
  6. Get oil changes on the manufacturer’s schedule, not every 3 months
  7. Get referrals to an honest mechanic
  8. Buy slightly used cars, except for economy cars
  9. Buy cars at the end of the year or month
  10. Use TrueCar or Edmunds when buying cars
  11. Get pre-qualified for a bank or credit union loan before car shopping
  12. Never get the extended warranty – on anything

And a final piece of advice, which will help your happiness rather than your bank account:

  1. Don’t get hung up over small amounts of money

10 Steps to Achieve Goals

(Remez Sasson | Success Consciousness | 475 words)
  1. Be specific with what you want to achieve
  2. Draw up a plan of action
  3. Make a list of steps
  4. Act, do not be passive
  5. Read and listen to advice
  6. Alternative plans
  7. Examine your goals periodically
  8. Repeat affirmations
  9. Visualize your goals
  10. Take action

How to Overcome the Fear of Being Judged

(Justin Aldridge | Dumb Little Man | 975 words)

Fear of being judged can hold you back and keep you from going after your goals. To combat this, remember the following:

  1. You’re not that important. People are generally thinking about their own lives, not about you.
  2. You shouldn’t care about the opinions of those who are judging you. If someone’s enough of a jerk to look down on you, that’s someone you probably don’t want in your life anyway.
  3. You can have your dreams or your fear of judgment, but not both. You’ll have to push past the fear to achieve your dreams.

11 Valuable Relationship Lessons

(Summary of Dr. Phil | LoudLife35 | 1,475 words)

A summary of the book Relationship Rescue by “Dr. Phil” McGraw.

As someone who has been very happily married for 13 years (our anniversary is this week), I very much agree with all of the advice in this article.

Note: I haven’t read the book and can only comment on the article summarizing it, not the book as a whole.

  1. There’s nothing wrong with legitimate criticism or input, as long as it’s constructive and not fault-finding
  2. Passive aggression is just as harmful as open aggression
  3. Don’t get too complacent
  4. There’s no right or wrong way to make a relationship great
  5. Accept your partner
  6. Focus on the friendship in your relationship

[Personally, I’d say this is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, and one that’s often overlooked. The person you marry should be your best friend. – SRM]

  1. Aim your frustrations in the right direction
  2. Be up-front and forthright
  3. Make yourself happy rather than right
  4. Allow your relationship to transcend turmoil
  5. Make your needs known

Bonus Boost

Goal Weights Don’t Work

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 800 words)

Having a goal weight when dieting is a mistake.

It will lead to you losing weight in the short-term, but then gaining that weight right back (with interest) right after you reach your goal.

Instead, you should focus on building sustainable habits that you’re able to keep for the rest of your life.

Then find a balance between eating habits you’re happy with and a body you’re happy with.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

I usually use this space to share something thoughtful or inspirational, but this week I’m doing something different.

Here is a thread on thirteen self-help books that offer an immediate improvement to your life.

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

Posted in: Uncategorized

Sleep, Focus, And Time – Five Boosts 8/30/20

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 8/30/20

The Power of Bright-Line Rules

(Rakaelle Price | Medium | 1,050 words)

A bright-line rule is a commitment you make with no wiggle-room.

While gradual improvement might seem easier, in many cases giving yourself a strict rule actually helps you out.

For example, you may decide to spend less time on social media. But that’s vague. How much is “less time?” It creates a lot of decisions, with the potential for rationalization and guilt.

But if you set a rule saying “No social media after 6:00,” you know the right thing to do.

I found this in Nir Eyal’s Nir and Far newsletter.

15 Incredibly Easy Ways to Improve Your Sleep

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1,650 words)
  1. Don’t cut back on sleep to get more done
  2. Wear orange glasses before bed
  3. Get blackout curtains
  4. Wear an eye mask
  5. Spend between $800 and $1,500 on a mattress
  6. Buy the right pillow
  7. Take your own pillow on trips
  8. Don’t take long naps
  9. Take short naps
  10. Don’t use a snooze alarm – ever
  11. Sleep in the right position
  12. Avoid caffeine in the afternoon/evening
  13. Make your bed when you first get up
  14. Don’t weekend-jetlag yourself
  15. Learn your individual chronotype

8 Really Bad Habits (We All Do) That Drain Our Focus)

(Nicolas Cole | The Ladders | 1,450 words)

You’ll be a lot more focused and productive if you stop doing these things:

  1. Constantly checking your phone
  2. Not really listening
  3. Multitasking
  4. Working with the TV on
  5. Working in unproductive environments
  6. Working with unproductive people
  7. Lack of preparation
  8. Using notifications

Why Time Management Won’t Solve Your Time Problem (And Nine Things That Will)

(Becky Kane | Ambition & Balance by Doist | 2,200 words)

Ways to feel less busy:

  1. Identify the values you’re sacrificing to busyness
  2. Accept that you can’t do everything
  3. Do one thing at a time
  4. Invest in aimless acts of creativity
  5. Read a book
  6. Spend time with friends
  7. Give your time away
  8. Spend 15 minutes outdoors
  9. Make space for stillness and solitude

How to Deal With Disappointment: 12 Helpful Steps

(Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | 1,950 words | Subscribe)

Sometimes disappointments happen in life. To move forward afterward:

  1. Accept how you feel
  2. Remember you’re not a disappointment
  3. Learn from it
  4. Remember disappointment happens when you leave your comfort zone
  5. Refocus on what you’ve got
  6. Talk it over with someone close
  7. Adjust your expectations
  8. Take a break
  9. Get outside your own head
  10. Find energy and motivation with help from others
  11. Find a small step to start moving forward
  12. Improve your self-esteem

Bonus Boost

Everything You’ve Heard About Dieting is Wrong

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1,050 words)

Diets don’t work because they’re too hard, and you can’t maintain them for life. At best, you’ll temporarily lose weight, but gain it back as soon as you stop the diet.

The right way to lose weight is to use the right strategies to build habits that are easy enough to keep for life.

The most important habit is to think before you eat, make, or buy food, make a rational decision about what and how much to eat, and then celebrate and take pride in your good decisions.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

Posted in: Uncategorized

Toxic People And A Second Brain – Five Boosts 8/23/20

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 8/23/20

Build Your Second Brain

(Dean Yeong | deanyeong.com | 225 words | Subscribe)

Keep a file on your favorite note-taking app called “Quick Capture,” so you can jot down any thoughts as they come to you, and don’t have to worry about remembering them.

Then schedule time at the end of the day or week to review these so you can act on them, add them to your to-do list, or do whatever’s appropriate.

I like this because it’s so much simpler than most personal information management systems I’ve seen. My general belief is that self-help advice needs to make improvement easier, not harder.

11 Incredibly Easy Things to Stop Doing to Be Happier

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2025 words)

Common ways people sabotage their own happiness that would be easy to stop, including:

  • Arguing on the internet
  • Doomscrolling and catastrophism
  • Expecting people to be mind-readers
  • Wishing things were better and dreaming up solutions to problems they have no control over
  • Spending time around toxic people
  • Taking it personally when someone’s a jerk

How to Deal With Difficult People

(John Hernandez | Addicted2Success | 900 words)

Sometimes there are difficult people in life that you can’t avoid. The best way to handle these are:

  1. Listen, then wait.
  2. Reinforce your relationship.
  3. Understand the person.
  4. Make progress.

As someone who’s generally able to get along with difficult people, I’d add that you shouldn’t argue with them. If they say something awful or stupid, just inwardly roll your eyes and move on. Challenging them will only make it worse.

Note: I recommend reading the last two articles in order. They connect well together, with both discussing ways to handle toxic people.

10 Unusual Problem Solving Methods

(Nelville Medhora | KopywritingKourse.com | Infographic | Subscribe)

If you’re stuck on a problem, here are some offbeat ways to reframe it that might help you find a solution. Suggestions include:

  • Write out many solutions, then rank them by effectiveness and difficulty
  • Thank the problem
  • Think of a hilarious solution

Quiet Your Inner Critic – 5 Powerful Strategies

(Shane Walker | The Self Improvement Blog | 1000 words)

Ways to fight the negative voices in your head that prevent growth.

  1. Use counter-affirmations
  2. Write down your critical thoughts
  3. Challenge your inner critic
  4. Quiet your inner critic by disassociation
  5. Know your value

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

Back to Top