Tag: Ladders

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Five Boosts To Get Back on Track

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Five Boosts To Get Back on Track
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 2/16/21

Today’s boosts are about getting back on track.

There was no Five Boosts last week. Monday night, my van was totaled by a hit-and-run driver. (I’m fine) I spent the rest of the week getting a rental car, cleaning out the wreckage, and working on a replacement, while launching my Excel business, and caring for the foster dogs that took over my life. Plus I got sick for a bit. (Not COVID, and I’m better now).

The good news is we’ve placed two of the dogs, and the one remaining is much less of a time burden.

Enough about me. On to the Boosts.

Reward Good Behavior Instead of Criticizing Bad Behavior

(Self-Helping Yourself | Steven Ray Marks | 1000 words)

If you want someone to improve or change, reward and encourage the desired behavior. Don’t punish or criticize bad behavior. Punishment just makes someone unhappy and gets them to dislike you. This is true for animals, employees, family, and yourself.

If you punish yourself for flaws or mistakes, it builds depression, anxiety, and self-hatred. To improve, instead celebrate your achievements and growth.

How to Motivate Yourself When Things Are Not Going Exactly The Way You Want

(Charles Vallena | The Inspiring Journal | 1000 words)

When things don’t go right, it’s easy to lose motivation. Which makes things go worse.

To keep your motivation:

  • Pause to gain more insight.
  • Process and analyze your emotions and thoughts.
  • Take a break.
  • Focus on what you can do.
  • Find motivation from your accomplishments.

Give Yourself Credit: The Essential Habit Behind Self-Esteem

(Steven Handel | The Emotion Machine | 675 words)

People obsess over their flaws, but ignore their accomplishments. 

To fight this, give yourself points for achievements – even minor ones.

Be an easy grader, giving yourself credit for minor things like brushing your teeth or gratitude.

Related: Optimism and Pessimism are Self-Fulfilling

Creative Burnout: When the Creativity Tap Runs Dry

(Anne-Laure Le Cunff | Ness Labs | 1800 words)

Creatives sometimes burnout. Recognize the signs, and how to overcome it.

Get support. Take a break. Do some self-reflection. Look at your past work for inspiration. Do the smallest piece of creative work to build momentum. And be kind to yourself.

Even better, avoid burnout by building the right habits, taking breaks, and skipping anxiety-inducing information sources.

Related: Disembarking From the Failboat

5 Critical Mistakes to Avoid When Goal-Setting

(Anouare Abdou | The Ladders | 850 words)

You will likely fail to achieve your goals if you make these mistakes:

  • No timeline.
  • No accountability.
  • Not being well-rounded.
  • Being too conceptual.
  • Trying to do too much.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Excel: Beginner to Rockstar

As I mentioned in the intro, I’m launching a new business.

Before switching to Self-Improvement and Weight Loss, I spent 20 years in Accounting and Finance for start-ups, rising to the level of CFO. Now I’m putting my expertise to use teaching Excel.

Could winning at Excel win your next job?

Or save you hundreds of hours as an entrepreneur?

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to increase your Excel skills 100% or more in four weeks. You’ll be able to get twice as much done in half the time, amaze your boss and potential employers, and enjoy unparalleled job security.

Rockstar Excel Presents

Excel: Beginner to Rockstar Course

Starting March 18, 2021

Are you an entrepreneur who struggles to finish everything?

Are you an employee whose career is stuck in neutral?

Are you looking to become more efficient and organized?

Would you like to get more done in less time?

Mastering Excel could be the solution!

Imagine taking minutes to complete what used to take you hours. Picture what you could do with five extra hours a week. What if you never had to worry about layoffs, because your skills made you too valuable for your company to lose?

I want to rock Excel
and get my free Expense Tracker

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

Enjoy Five Boosts? Please consider buying me a coffee.

I work hard reviewing hundreds of articles a week to find five that contain the best advice on easy ways to improve your life.

As well as writing the posts for Self Helping Yourself, and Rockstar Excel.

If you can’t donate, you can always help by subscribing, recommending Five Boosts, Self Helping Yourself, or any articles to your friends, or by rating/reviewing The Weight Loss Habit on Amazon. (If you’ve read it.)

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Take Control of Your Life: Five Boosts 1/19/21

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Take Control of Your Life: Five Boosts 1/19/21
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 1/19/21

This week’s boosts are about taking control over your own life.

Last week was the first time in nearly a year that I missed writing a regularly scheduled post for Self-Helping Yourself.

Part of controlling your own life is replacing the phrase “I don’t have time for…” with “I have chosen not to prioritize…”

That’s what happened last week. I’ve been busy launching a new business, and focused my time on that.

I’ll tell you more about my new business after the boosts.

5 Simple Behaviors You Can Start Today to Make People Respect You More

(Anthony Moore | Ladders | 1375 words)

Respect comes from taking ownership over yourself, which you choose to do.

  1. Show your mind can be changed.
  2. Invest time and money in your future.
  3. Admit when you don’t know something.
  4. Take responsibility for choices and actions.
  5. Don’t share other people’s secrets.

5 Habits to Combat Loneliness

(Gretchen Rubin | 600 words)

Loneliness stems from how you relate to other people. Only you can take actions to fix it.

  1. Nurture others.
  2. Connect with others.
  3. Get better sleep.
  4. Stay open.
  5. Ask what’s missing in your life.

For a Happier Healthier 2021, Ditch These 6 Habits

(Karen Nimmo | On the Couch | 900 words)

Your actions and mindset determine your happiness. These are things you control.

To be happier, avoid:

  1. Complaining into the void.
  2. Waiting for someone to give you a break.
  3. Trying too hard to do the right thing.
  4. Looking over your shoulder.
  5. Eroding your health.
  6. Chaining yourself to the safe road.

I found this on Tuseet Jha’s Happier Today newsletter.

Related: 7 Ways to Make 2021 a Year of Growth and Joy

How to Brighten Your Morning (And Whole Day): 7 Powerful Habits

(Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | 975 words)

The habits you build are how you live your life.

Habits to start the day with positivity make your life happier.

Give yourself reminders to be positive.

Compliment people.

Take in positive information, and avoid negative information.

Do the right thing.

Blaming Your Circumstances Makes You a Loser Part 1 and Part 2

(Jens Boje | MindfulDevMag | 1250 words)

Ignore the title of this piece – insults aren’t helpful. But the content is excellent.

Blaming circumstances for your problems makes your life worse.

Focusing on what you can do to improve your situation makes your life better.

If your circumstances seem overwhelming, focus on one small thing you can do, and build from there.

Related: Optimism and Pessimism are Self-Fulfilling

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Excel: Beginner to Rockstar

As I mentioned in the intro, I’m launching a new business.

Before switching to Self-Improvement and Weight Loss, I spent 20 years in Accounting and Finance for start-ups, rising to the level of CFO. Now I’m putting my expertise to use teaching Excel.

Could winning at Excel win your next job?

Or save you hundreds of hours as an entrepreneur?

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to increase your Excel skills 100% or more in four weeks. You’ll be able to get twice as much done in half the time, amaze your boss and potential employers, and enjoy unparalleled job security.

Rockstar Excel Presents

Excel: Beginner to Rockstar Course

Starting March 18, 2021

Are you an entrepreneur who struggles to finish everything?

Are you an employee whose career is stuck in neutral?

Are you looking to become more efficient and organized?

Would you like to get more done in less time?

Mastering Excel could be the solution!

Imagine taking minutes to complete what used to take you hours. Picture what you could do with five extra hours a week. What if you never had to worry about layoffs, because your skills made you too valuable for your company to lose?

I want to rock Excel
and get my free Expense Tracker

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

Enjoy Five Boosts? Please consider buying me a coffee.

I work hard reviewing hundreds of articles a week to find five that contain the best advice on easy ways to improve your life.

As well as writing the posts for Self Helping Yourself, and Rockstar Excel.

If you can’t donate, you can always help by subscribing, recommending Five Boosts, Self Helping Yourself, or any articles to your friends, or by rating/reviewing The Weight Loss Habit on Amazon. (If you’ve read it.)

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Five Boosts to Handle Tough Times – 1/12/21

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Five Boosts to Handle Tough Times – 1/12/21
Image by Bluehouse Skis from Pixabay

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 1/12/21

This week’s boosts are about handling tough times.

The last few weeks have been difficult for many.

Let’s get through these struggles with compassion for one another. And remember that lashing out in anger will make any problem worse.

It’s Okay to Quit – Sometimes That’s a Good Thing

(Steven Ray Marks | Self-Helping Yourself | 950 words)

Quitting gets a bad rap.

It’s a GOOD thing if:

  • What you’re doing is a bad idea.
  • It’s not working.
  • It’s not right for you.
  • You’re miserable.
  • There are better uses for your time.
  • The chance of success is too low.
  • the consequences of failure are too high.

Related: Eight Things to Consider When Evaluating Risks

Saying These Words When Someone is Upset is the Best Thing You Can Do

(John Anderer | Ladders | 775 words)

When someone is upset, the key to helping them feel better is validation.

Statements such as “I understand why you feel that way,” create positive emotions.

Doubting their emotions by saying things like “Why would that make you so mad?” makes them feel even worse.

6 Reminders for When You Stop Feeling Strong

(Holly Riordan | Thought Catalog | 500 words)

Strength doesn’t mean perfection. It means persistence when times are tough.

But it’s okay to admit you’re struggling.

Better to ask for help than pretend that you’re stronger than you really are.

Weak moments help you grow and build yourself up to something better.

Related: The Coronavirus Lazies are Nothing to Be Ashamed Of – And Some Tips to Fight Them

5 Questions Smart People Ask Themselves Before They Speak

“Am I adding to the panic or being a calming influence?”

(Michael Thompson | Forge | 800 words)

Thoughtless words make a bad situation worse.

Before speaking, ask yourself:

  • Do I need to say this now?
  • Is this actionable?
  • What’s this person going through?
  • Am I creating stress or calming?
  • What could I learn if I just kept listening?

How to Create Psychological Distance Between You and Your Past

(Steven Handel | The Emotion Machine | 1600 words)

Creating space from your past helps you grow.

  • View the past from an outside perspective.
  • Change your environment.
  • Seek new experiences.
  • Remind yourself of what’s changed.
  • Go through a mental door.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

Enjoy Five Boosts? Please consider buying me a coffee.

I work hard reviewing hundreds of articles a week to find five that contain the best advice on easy ways to improve your life.

As well as writing the posts for Self Helping Yourself, and Rockstar Excel.

If you can’t donate, you can always help by subscribing, recommending Five Boosts, Self Helping Yourself, or any articles to your friends, or by rating/reviewing The Weight Loss Habit on Amazon. (If you’ve read it.)

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Five Boosts to Rock Your 2021 – 1/5/21

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Five Boosts to Rock Your 2021 – 1/5/21
Photo by nappy from Pexels

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 1/5/21

7 Ways to Make 2021 a Year of Growth and Joy

(Steven Ray Marks | Self-Helping Yourself | 1050 words)

Growth and joy come from attitudes and choices, not circumstances.

Keep a positive attitude, instead of complaining.

Be content with what you can’t change, and take action on what you can change.

Form plans, but be ready to adapt.

Maintain connections with friends and communities.

Related: Optimism and Pessimism are Self-Fulfilling

How to Master an Important Habit in 2021

(Gretchen Rubin | 1075 words)

Habits are the foundation of how we live.

Every person is different. There’s no one-size-fits-all method of habit change.

To find what works for you, learn from your past successes.

6 Unconventional Ways to Build Focus, Resilience, and Calm in 2021

(Jory MacKay | RescueTime | 2650 words)

Focus and resilience are necessary for happiness and achieving goals. These skills can be developed.

Become indifferent to things you can’t change. Deprioritize stressful things that don’t help you.

Rebuild passion and curiosity.

Experiment with working habits. If working remotely, match your internal clock to your workday. Create boundaries on work.

The Future Belongs to the Focused: These 7 Unconventional Tips Can Help

(Michael Thompson | Ladders | 1425 words)

This is the same topic as the last article, but has different suggestions.

It’s worth considering multiple perspectives to find what works for you.

Focus on doing your best for 5 minutes at a time.

Save your worst work task until last.

Keep a “worry” journal.

Related: 10 Things to Do When Feeling Overwhelmed

10 Personal Finance Tips That Changed My Life

(The Millennial Money Woman | 2775 words)

Money is a topic many are afraid of. But having finances in order makes life easier.

The Millennial Money Woman explains how to cut spending, invest the right way, avoid bad debt, set monetary goals, and adopt a growth mindset.

Related: Interview With The Millennial Money Woman

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

Enjoy Five Boosts? Please consider buying me a coffee.

I work hard reviewing hundreds of articles a week to find five that contain the best advice on easy ways to improve your life.

As well as writing the posts for Self Helping Yourself, and Rockstar Excel.

If you can’t donate, you can always help by subscribing, recommending Five Boosts, Self Helping Yourself, or any articles to your friends, or by rating/reviewing The Weight Loss Habit on Amazon. (If you’ve read it.)

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Five Boosts 12/22/20 – Staying Positive and Motivated

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Five Boosts 12/22/20 – Staying Positive and Motivated
Image by Derek Robinson from Pixabay

Before getting to the boosts, I have a favor to ask.

I’m always trying to make Five Boosts more useful.

You can assist by completing this two-minute survey.

I’d truly appreciate it.

And don’t forget to subscribe to get Five Boosts in your inbox every week, as well as your free copy of 24 Ways to Improve Your Life.

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 12/22/20

Optimism and Pessimism are Self-Fulfilling

(Steven Ray Marks | Self-Helping Yourself | 1150 words)

If you have an optimistic outlook, you’ll act in ways that make good things more likely to happen.

While if you have a pessimistic outlook, you’ll act to make bad things more likely to happen.

Not through anything mystical – because of psychology and choices.

Optimism leads to better results in love, career, personal interactions, resilience, achievements, and overall happiness.

Fostering an optimistic attitude will make your life much better.

What to Do When you Feel Unmotivated

(Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | 825 words)

Sometimes it’s hard to start a task. To get that motivation, try:

  • Picture your life if you pick the path of doing things versus not doing things.
  • Get inspired by the motivation of others.
  • Just start, and let the motivation catch up to you.

Related: Disembarking from the Failboat

3 Psychologists Share Their Tips for Staying Positive Through the Winter

(Kaitlyn McInnis | Ladders | 925 words)

Short days, holidays alone, and being stuck at home can be tough.

To keep your mood up:

  • Take on a short-term project
  • Create a routine
  • Watch comedy shows
  • Spend time in nature
  • Don’t compare your happiness to others

Related: 7 Easy Strategies for Seasonal Affective Disorder

6 Unconventional Ways to Build Focus, Resilience, and Calm in 2021

(Jory MacKay | Rescue Time | 2650 words)

While we hope things will get back to normal next year, there’s still a need to adapt to uncertainty.

  • Build an indifferent attitude toward what you can’t change
  • Deprioritize unproductive tasks
  • Find your ideal working habits and boundaries

I found this article in Greg Roth’s The Idea Enthusiast newsletter.

Related: 10 Things to Do When you Feel Overwhelmed.

It’s Scientifically Impossible to Make It Through These 17 Wholesome Tumblr Posts Without Smiling

(Compiled by Kelly Martinez | BuzzFeed | 500 words)

Cute thoughts and encouragement that will brighten your day.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

Enjoy Five Boosts? Please consider buying me a coffee.

I work hard reviewing hundreds of articles a week to find five that contain the best advice on easy ways to improve your life.

As well as writing the posts for Self Helping Yourself, and Rockstar Excel.

If you can’t donate, you can always help by subscribing, recommending Five Boosts, Self Helping Yourself, or any articles to your friends, or by rating/reviewing The Weight Loss Habit on Amazon. (If you’ve read it.)

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Five Boosts 11/24/20 – Change Minds and Get Beter

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Five Boosts 11/24/20 – Change Minds and Get Beter
Anger and hate - Fist punching through glass

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 11/24/20

Anger and Hate Hurt You More Than The Target of Your Rage – But You Don’t Have to Feel Them

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1075 words)

Anger and hatred consume your thoughts, mindset, and soul, while doing nothing to improve the world or change those you’re angry at/hate.

To feel anger and hatred less, and take ownership over your own happiness:

  • Minimize exposure to triggers
  • Build the mindset that anger is a choice
  • Stop complaining to break the anger habit

How to Get Better

(Mark Manson | 1425 Words)

Therapy helps because talking over problems separates negative thoughts and feelings from your sense of self, changing unhappiness from the subject to the object.

The same is true of journaling and meditation, which is why they’re effective as well.

Be Specific

(Josh Spector | For The Interested | 725 words)

Specificity forces you to be clear, focused, and unique. Your life will be better if you’re more specific about:

  • Goals
  • Audience
  • Communication
  • Requests
  • Success

Change Someone’s Mind: 6 Secrets From Research

(Eric Barker | Bakadesuyo | 3375 words)

To change someone’s mind, you need to get them to change their own mind. Be a respectful partner, not an adversary.

Ask why they believe their beliefs with genuine curiosity, not to find “gotchas” or attack. Ask how certain they are, and to make comparisons on a scale of 1 to 10. What evidence would change their mind?

And be open to learning from them and changing your own mind.

I found this article in Josh Spector’s For The Interested newsletter. (Josh Spector also wrote the “Be Specific” article above.)

Related: How to Win Allies and How to Stop Making Enemies

The Mistake Smart People Make: Being in Motion vs. Taking Action

(James Clear | 925 words)

Motion is planning and research. Action is doing and creating things.

Sometimes you need to plan and research. But you’ll never accomplish anything without action.

Often people get stuck on motion, thinking it’s productive when really they’re procrastinating.

Set a schedule or hard deadline to take action.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

Enjoy Five Boosts? Please consider buying me a coffee.

I work hard reviewing hundreds of articles a week to find the five that contain the best actionable advice on easy ways to improve your life.

As well as writing the posts for Self Helping Yourself, and now Rockstar Excel.

If you can’t donate, you can always help out by subscribing, recommending Five Boosts, Self Helping Yourself, or any articles to your friends, or by rating/reviewing The Weight Loss Habit on Amazon. (If you’ve read it.)

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Five Boosts 11/17/20 – Good Habits For Productive Days

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Five Boosts 11/17/20 – Good Habits For Productive Days

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 11/17/20

7 Easy Strategies for Overcoming Seasonal Affective Disorder

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 825 words)

Like a lot of people, I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Often advice for coping with SAD is exceptionally difficult to do for anyone suffering from it.

You aren’t going to exercise and do yoga when you can barely get out of bed.

Here are some easy suggestions, such as:

  • Assign a name to your SAD
  • Use a light-therapy box
  • Avoid windows at dusk

How to Network When You’re Painfully Shy

(Anouare Abdou | The Ladders | 1175 words)

Networking is important for a lot of careers, but a lot of people struggle with it. To get better:

  • Make a “win list” to boost your confidence
  • Prepare conversation starters and responses
  • Turn it into a game
  • Practice by talking to yourself
  • Be a good listener

I’d add: Don’t go into networking with the mindset “What can these people do for me?” Instead, focus on forming genuine connections, and “What can I do for them?”

14 Things My Highly Productive Friends Have Given Up

(Tim Denning | The Ascent on Medium | 1450 words)

Being more productive doesn’t always mean being a superachiever with infinite energy.

Sometimes it means eliminating things. Such as:

  • Automatically agreeing to give others your time
  • Overworking
  • Listening to ‘preachers of chaos’
  • Having too many goals
  • Being an a–hole

13 Evening Routine Habits to Perfectly End Your Day

(Connie Stemmle | Developing Good Habits | 2875 words)

A good evening routine sets the stage for a productive morning.

Suggestions include:

  • Establish a ‘shut down’ ritual
  • Plan for the next day
  • Spend time with your family
  • Practice something you enjoy
  • Reflect

How to Make Good Habits Stick

(Barrie Davenport | Live Bold and Bloom | 2275 words)

The way to make lasting change is through habits. But how do you build and maintain habits?

  • Start ridiculously small
  • Begin with one habit at a time
  • Have clear intentions
  • Celebrate small Wins
  • Change your mindset

#Self-PromotionThese ideas are similar to the philosophy toward weight loss laid out in my book The Weight Loss Habit. If you enjoy this article, you might want to check out the book.

Bonus Boost

Understanding Serving Size

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 550 words)

It can be difficult to know how much you’re eating if the amount doesn’t match up to what the manufacturer lists as a serving size.

Sometimes the labels are intentionally confusing, but even when they aren’t, it can be hard to judge.

Here I walk you through a simple method to figure this out.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

Enjoy Five Boosts? Please consider buying me a coffee.

I work hard reviewing hundreds of articles a week to find the five that contain the best actionable advice on easy ways to improve your life.

As well as writing the posts for Self Helping Yourself, and now Rockstar Excel.

If you can’t donate, you can always help out by subscribing, recommending Five Boosts, Self Helping Yourself, or any articles to your friends, or by rating/reviewing The Weight Loss Habit on Amazon. (If you’ve read it.)

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Perseverance, Growth, And Drama – Five Boosts 10/11/20

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Perseverance, Growth, And Drama – Five Boosts 10/11/20

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 10/11/20

Photo by VisionPic .net from Pexels

Yesterday I was feeling tired and unmotivated, and mentioned to my wife, “I have to work on my newsletter.”

She then corrected me: I don’t have to work on my newsletter. I get to work on my newsletter.

It was a good reminder that the choices we make in life are our own, and I assemble Five Boosts every week because I love it.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to send helpful articles out to my audience, and I appreciate you being there to read it.

How to Stop Being Offended by Everyone (in Just 13 Steps)

(Kelly Albano | Dumb Little Man | 775 words)

Getting offended is a choice that you make. Recognizing that will make your life a lot happier.

If you feel yourself starting to get offended, take some deep breaths, and consider the source. Think about whether they really meant offense.

Try and separate yourself from the situation, and examine why you feel victimized. Send loving energy to where you’re hurt.

Listen to the opposing perspective. Don’t try to change other people. Wait before responding. Focus on positivity.

Remember, getting offended hurts you a lot more than it hurts the person you’re offended by.

Related:This satirical ad for “I’m Offended” t-shirts. (Not an affiliate link, and I don’t think the shirts are still available.)

18 Ways to Make Chores Easier

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1875 words)

If you can get chores done in less time, that lets you do more of what you really care about. You’re essentially adding time to your life.

Suggestions include:

  • Pull weeds whenever you see them, instead of waiting for them to get worse.
  • Wash a dish when you wash your hands.
  • Keep a stockpile of non-perishable goods so you don’t have to make emergency grocery runs.
  • Use a shared shopping list app that syncs throughout your household (and smart speakers, if you have them), and add things to your shopping list as soon as you think of them.
  • Listen to audiobooks while driving or doing other tasks that don’t take concentration.

10 Things to Do on Days When You Just Want to Give Up

(Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | 1550 words)

When things aren’t going well and you’re losing your will, try these methods:

  1. Tap into realistic expectations
  2. Remind yourself why you’re doing this
  3. Remember it’s darkest before the dawn
  4. Reconnect with the basics
  5. Learn more and course-correct
  6. Tell yourself: Just for today!
  7. Connect with people around you to let it out
  8. Look back and celebrate how far you’ve come
  9. Cut yourself some slack and take a break
  10. See if it’s time to quit and try something else

3 (Pretty Simple) Ways to Remove Yourself From Drama

(Courtney Carver | Be More With Less | 600 words)

Drama saps our energy, time, and happiness, but can be addictive. To avoid it:

  1. Be honest with yourself. You’re telling yourself a story, but is it a true story? Seriously ask this, and try to see things from another perspective. Also be honest about your motivations for the drama. Is it boredom, fear of direct communication, or habit?
  2. Be quiet. Drama requires your participation. Not everything requires your input. If you simply stay silent, you won’t be involved in the drama.
  3. Be selective about who you choose to spend your time with, and how you choose to spend your time. Ask if you really want to get involved, if your input will actually help, and if there are better things you could be doing.

15 Ideas You Can Steal to Make the Next 12 Months a Period of Remarkable Growth

(Tim Denning | The Ascent at Medium | 1450 words)

Some of the best suggestions here include:

  • Forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it
  • Take an unconventional online course to learn a new skill
  • Write your thoughts down
  • Notice the story you tell yourself
  • Clear out your junk
  • Be more careful about the books you read

Bonus Boost

Six Easy Ways to Stop Mindless Eating

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1125 words)

You can avoid mindless eating by:

  1. Never eat straight from a multi-serving package
  2. Use chewing gum
  3. If you’ll be distracted during your meal, prepare your plate ahead of time
  4. Split your food in half immediately
  5. Don’t stand near the food table at parties
  6. Never eat while drunk or on drugs

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

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Love, Friendship, and Worries – Five Boosts 10/4/20

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Love, Friendship, and Worries – Five Boosts 10/4/20

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 10/4/20

Photo by Jack Sparrow from Pexels

How to Make Friends as an Adult

(Marisa Franco | Psyche | 3,250 words)

Having a network of friends is one of the biggest factors in happiness. But making new friends once you leave school is difficult for many people.

To do so, you should first assume that people will like you. Then put in the effort to initiate things and connect with people, rather than just assuming friendships will happen automatically. Get vulnerable with people so you can have meaningful shared emotional experiences.

One less obvious suggestion is to find situations where you will repeatedly interact with people, such as classes, book clubs, co-working spaces, church, or community organizations. It’s easier to make friends with people you see over and over than in one-off situations like a networking event.

16 Incredibly Easy Ways to Be More Organized At Home

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2,000 words)

Ways to improve your home that take no willpower, minimal cost, and will ultimately save you time and effort.

Highlights include:

  • Make sure every item has a place that it belongs
  • Keep pens, a notepad, knife or box-cutter, scissors, kleenex, and small trash can in every room
  • Use pill organizers
  • Store things with other items that are used together
  • Use painter’s tape to label things
  • Write expiration dates in easy-to-read sharpie

30 Things Men Wish Women Knew in Dating

(January Nelson summarizing a Reddit thread | Thought Catalog | 1,200 words)

The key takeaways from this thread are:

Be straightforward in your communication, don’t play games, and don’t expect a man to be a mind-reader. Also recognize that men are straightforward and mean what they say.

Be willing to make compromises, and let him have his own space, hobbies, time, and friends.

Treat him well and show him he’s loved. Things like affection, gifts, compliments, and initiating intimacy are appreciated.

Don’t expect men to change, and especially don’t think you can change a man.

If you aren’t interested in a man or want to break up, tell him directly and as soon as possible. “Letting him down easy,” giving hints, or “waiting for the right time,” is much crueler.

As a man who’s been happily married for 13 years, I agree with all this advice. (And I think much of it applies to women as well.)

5 Steps to Put and End to Your Worries

(Dr. Tchiki Davis | Relationship Development & Transformation | 625 words)

To worry less:

  1. Explore the origins of your worries.
  2. Identify your particular worry pattern
    • Catastrophizing
    • Minimization
    • All-or-nothing thinking
    • Overgeneralization
    • Negative attention
    • Rumination
    • Mind-reading
  3. Exercise
  4. Try mindfulness
  5. Talk to someone

Improve Your Marriage By Watching Romantic Comedies Together

(Sarah Dillon | The Ladders | 650 words)

Couples that watch a romantic comedy together and then spend half an hour discussing it can reduce their chances of divorce down the line by up to 50%.

It gives them an opportunity to discuss relationship behaviors and mistakes in a non-threatening environment, by looking through the lens of fictional characters. This allows them to understand their partner’s needs and wants, and adjust their own behaviors.

Bonus Boost

Intermittent Fasting is Easy When You Call It Skipping Breakfast

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 625 words)

“Intermittent Fasting” is a popular diet trend, that you may have dismissed as way too hard.

But it’s really a fancy and intimidating name given to the practice of limiting your meals to an eight hour window each day.

Which you can easily do, simply by skipping breakfast.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

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Hedonism, Civility, And Useless Days: Five Boosts 8/9/20

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Hedonism, Civility, And Useless Days: Five Boosts 8/9/20

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 8/9/20

15 Things to Do When You Have No Idea What to Do

(Barrie Davenport | Live Bold and Bloom | 1900 words | Subscribe )

What to do when you just can’t seem to kick your brain into gear. Suggestions include:

  • Do mindless tasks
  • Try meditation
  • Help someone else
  • Take the logical first step
  • Do nothing and take the day off

Related: Disembarking From the Failboat

In Defense of Hedonism

(Kyle Shnitzer | The Ladders | 350 words)

Hedonism gets a bad rap.

But a big part of happiness is the ability to take time to just enjoy yourself, without being distracted by worries over long-term goals.

Obviously focusing on long-term goals and enjoying yourself are also important. But you should have a balance.

10 Incredibly Easy Ways to Improve Your Health

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2050 words)

Ten ways to lose weight and be healthier that take no effort or willpower, and minimal to no time. Including:

  • Switch to diet soda.
  • Use smaller plates.
  • Look up how many calories are in your favorite dishes at restaurants.
  • Buy your own exercise equipment instead of going to the gym.
  • Use chopsticks when eating chips.

Turning Violent Disagreements Into Civil Discourse

(Michael Hyatt | Michael Hyatt & Co. | 575 words)

We live in polarized times, where screaming and hate have replaced civil discourse.

Here are some excellent suggestions on how to better communicate with people that disagree with you:

  • Begin where you agree.
  • Keep an open mind.
  • Get your facts straight.
  • Be willing to state your view but with humility.

I especially like that this article gives no indications of the author’s own political views. That’s how it should be, since this advice applies to people of all beliefs.

If you like this piece, I suggest you check out the organization Braver Angels, which is dedicated to political tolerance and depolarization.

Related: How to Win Allies

7 Small Habits That Will Steal Your Happiness

(Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | 1625 words | Subscribe)

To be happier, stop doing these things:

  1. Immersing yourself in negative voices.
  2. Waiting for just the right time.
  3. Letting criticism get under your skin.
  4. Focusing on envy, powerlessness, and the wrong people.
  5. Not allowing yourself peace and rest.
  6. Never trying anything new.
  7. Taking things too seriously.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

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