Tag: Relationship Development & Transformation

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 10/11/20

Yesterday I was feeling tired and unmotivated, and mentioned to my wife, “I have to work on my newsletter.”

She then corrected me: I don’t have to work on my newsletter. I get to work on my newsletter.

It was a good reminder that the choices we make in life are our own, and I assemble Five Boosts every week because I love it.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to send helpful articles out to my audience, and I appreciate you being there to read it.

How to Stop Being Offended by Everyone (in Just 13 Steps)

(Kelly Albano | Dumb Little Man | 775 words)

Getting offended is a choice that you make. Recognizing that will make your life a lot happier.

If you feel yourself starting to get offended, take some deep breaths, and consider the source. Think about whether they really meant offense.

Try and separate yourself from the situation, and examine why you feel victimized. Send loving energy to where you’re hurt.

Listen to the opposing perspective. Don’t try to change other people. Wait before responding. Focus on positivity.

Remember, getting offended hurts you a lot more than it hurts the person you’re offended by.

Related:This satirical ad for “I’m Offended” t-shirts. (Not an affiliate link, and I don’t think the shirts are still available.)

18 Ways to Make Chores Easier

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1875 words)

If you can get chores done in less time, that lets you do more of what you really care about. You’re essentially adding time to your life.

Suggestions include:

• Pull weeds whenever you see them, instead of waiting for them to get worse.
• Wash a dish when you wash your hands.
• Keep a stockpile of non-perishable goods so you don’t have to make emergency grocery runs.
• Use a shared shopping list app that syncs throughout your household (and smart speakers, if you have them), and add things to your shopping list as soon as you think of them.
• Listen to audiobooks while driving or doing other tasks that don’t take concentration.

10 Things to Do on Days When You Just Want to Give Up

(Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | 1550 words)

When things aren’t going well and you’re losing your will, try these methods:

1. Tap into realistic expectations
2. Remind yourself why you’re doing this
3. Remember it’s darkest before the dawn
4. Reconnect with the basics
5. Learn more and course-correct
6. Tell yourself: Just for today!
7. Connect with people around you to let it out
8. Look back and celebrate how far you’ve come
9. Cut yourself some slack and take a break
10. See if it’s time to quit and try something else

3 (Pretty Simple) Ways to Remove Yourself From Drama

(Courtney Carver | Be More With Less | 600 words)

Drama saps our energy, time, and happiness, but can be addictive. To avoid it:

1. Be honest with yourself. You’re telling yourself a story, but is it a true story? Seriously ask this, and try to see things from another perspective. Also be honest about your motivations for the drama. Is it boredom, fear of direct communication, or habit?
2. Be quiet. Drama requires your participation. Not everything requires your input. If you simply stay silent, you won’t be involved in the drama.
3. Be selective about who you choose to spend your time with, and how you choose to spend your time. Ask if you really want to get involved, if your input will actually help, and if there are better things you could be doing.

15 Ideas You Can Steal to Make the Next 12 Months a Period of Remarkable Growth

(Tim Denning | The Ascent at Medium | 1450 words)

Some of the best suggestions here include:

• Forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it
• Take an unconventional online course to learn a new skill
• Write your thoughts down
• Notice the story you tell yourself
• Clear out your junk
• Be more careful about the books you read

Bonus Boost

Six Easy Ways to Stop Mindless Eating

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1125 words)

You can avoid mindless eating by:

1. Never eat straight from a multi-serving package
2. Use chewing gum
3. If you’ll be distracted during your meal, prepare your plate ahead of time
4. Split your food in half immediately
5. Don’t stand near the food table at parties
6. Never eat while drunk or on drugs

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

I'll let you in on a secret:

There's no such thing as a grown-up.

And there's no such thing as a sane person.

EVERYONE is just faking it, making it up as they go along.

Hoping nobody notices.

And assuming everybody else has it figured out.

— SelfHelpingYourself.com Self-Improvement Made Easy (@YourselfHelping) October 9, 2020

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 10/4/20

How to Make Friends as an Adult

(Marisa Franco | Psyche | 3,250 words)

Having a network of friends is one of the biggest factors in happiness. But making new friends once you leave school is difficult for many people.

To do so, you should first assume that people will like you. Then put in the effort to initiate things and connect with people, rather than just assuming friendships will happen automatically. Get vulnerable with people so you can have meaningful shared emotional experiences.

One less obvious suggestion is to find situations where you will repeatedly interact with people, such as classes, book clubs, co-working spaces, church, or community organizations. It’s easier to make friends with people you see over and over than in one-off situations like a networking event.

16 Incredibly Easy Ways to Be More Organized At Home

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2,000 words)

Ways to improve your home that take no willpower, minimal cost, and will ultimately save you time and effort.

Highlights include:

• Make sure every item has a place that it belongs
• Keep pens, a notepad, knife or box-cutter, scissors, kleenex, and small trash can in every room
• Use pill organizers
• Store things with other items that are used together
• Use painter’s tape to label things
• Write expiration dates in easy-to-read sharpie

30 Things Men Wish Women Knew in Dating

(January Nelson summarizing a Reddit thread | Thought Catalog | 1,200 words)

The key takeaways from this thread are:

Be straightforward in your communication, don’t play games, and don’t expect a man to be a mind-reader. Also recognize that men are straightforward and mean what they say.

Be willing to make compromises, and let him have his own space, hobbies, time, and friends.

Treat him well and show him he’s loved. Things like affection, gifts, compliments, and initiating intimacy are appreciated.

Don’t expect men to change, and especially don’t think you can change a man.

If you aren’t interested in a man or want to break up, tell him directly and as soon as possible. “Letting him down easy,” giving hints, or “waiting for the right time,” is much crueler.

As a man who’s been happily married for 13 years, I agree with all this advice. (And I think much of it applies to women as well.)

5 Steps to Put and End to Your Worries

(Dr. Tchiki Davis | Relationship Development & Transformation | 625 words)

To worry less:

1. Explore the origins of your worries.
2. Identify your particular worry pattern
   • Catastrophizing
   • Minimization
   • All-or-nothing thinking
   • Overgeneralization
   • Negative attention
   • Rumination
   • Mind-reading
3. Exercise
4. Try mindfulness
5. Talk to someone

Improve Your Marriage By Watching Romantic Comedies Together

(Sarah Dillon | The Ladders | 650 words)

Couples that watch a romantic comedy together and then spend half an hour discussing it can reduce their chances of divorce down the line by up to 50%.

It gives them an opportunity to discuss relationship behaviors and mistakes in a non-threatening environment, by looking through the lens of fictional characters. This allows them to understand their partner’s needs and wants, and adjust their own behaviors.

Bonus Boost

Intermittent Fasting is Easy When You Call It Skipping Breakfast

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 625 words)

“Intermittent Fasting” is a popular diet trend, that you may have dismissed as way too hard.

But it’s really a fancy and intimidating name given to the practice of limiting your meals to an eight hour window each day.

Which you can easily do, simply by skipping breakfast.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

If you fail at something but learn how to do things better

You haven't really failed.

— SelfHelpingYourself.com Self-Improvement Made Easy (@YourselfHelping) September 29, 2020

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.