Tag: Steven Ray Marks

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Five Boosts 11/17/20 – Good Habits For Productive Days

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Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 11/17/20

7 Easy Strategies for Overcoming Seasonal Affective Disorder

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 825 words)

Like a lot of people, I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Often advice for coping with SAD is exceptionally difficult to do for anyone suffering from it.

You aren’t going to exercise and do yoga when you can barely get out of bed.

Here are some easy suggestions, such as:

  • Assign a name to your SAD
  • Use a light-therapy box
  • Avoid windows at dusk

How to Network When You’re Painfully Shy

(Anouare Abdou | The Ladders | 1175 words)

Networking is important for a lot of careers, but a lot of people struggle with it. To get better:

  • Make a “win list” to boost your confidence
  • Prepare conversation starters and responses
  • Turn it into a game
  • Practice by talking to yourself
  • Be a good listener

I’d add: Don’t go into networking with the mindset “What can these people do for me?” Instead, focus on forming genuine connections, and “What can I do for them?”

14 Things My Highly Productive Friends Have Given Up

(Tim Denning | The Ascent on Medium | 1450 words)

Being more productive doesn’t always mean being a superachiever with infinite energy.

Sometimes it means eliminating things. Such as:

  • Automatically agreeing to give others your time
  • Overworking
  • Listening to ‘preachers of chaos’
  • Having too many goals
  • Being an a–hole

13 Evening Routine Habits to Perfectly End Your Day

(Connie Stemmle | Developing Good Habits | 2875 words)

A good evening routine sets the stage for a productive morning.

Suggestions include:

  • Establish a ‘shut down’ ritual
  • Plan for the next day
  • Spend time with your family
  • Practice something you enjoy
  • Reflect

How to Make Good Habits Stick

(Barrie Davenport | Live Bold and Bloom | 2275 words)

The way to make lasting change is through habits. But how do you build and maintain habits?

  • Start ridiculously small
  • Begin with one habit at a time
  • Have clear intentions
  • Celebrate small Wins
  • Change your mindset

#Self-PromotionThese ideas are similar to the philosophy toward weight loss laid out in my book The Weight Loss Habit. If you enjoy this article, you might want to check out the book.

Bonus Boost

Understanding Serving Size

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 550 words)

It can be difficult to know how much you’re eating if the amount doesn’t match up to what the manufacturer lists as a serving size.

Sometimes the labels are intentionally confusing, but even when they aren’t, it can be hard to judge.

Here I walk you through a simple method to figure this out.

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I work hard reviewing hundreds of articles a week to find the five that contain the best actionable advice on easy ways to improve your life.

As well as writing the posts for Self Helping Yourself, and now Rockstar Excel.

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Persuasion, Overwhelm, And Hard Conversations – Five Boosts 11/10/20

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Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 11/10/20

10 Things to Do When You Feel Overwhelmed

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1850 words)

Life can seem overwhelming when you feel like you have more things to do than you’re capable of handling.

I give some strategies for dealing with these situations, based on my experience in fast-paced tech startups, such as:

  • Prioritize and pick one thing
  • Eliminate less important tasks
  • Complete something easy to build momentum
  • Put together a plan
  • Ask if your overwhelm is self-imposed

6 Phrases that Easily Redirect a Tough Conversation

(Steve Adcock | The Ladders | 575 words)

If a conversation goes off the rails and things get heated, calm things down by saying:

  • “I understand what you are saying, but let’s refocus for a minute”
  • “There are plenty of different perspectives here, but remember what we’re talking about.”
  • “I’m not sure I understand enough about that position. Can we talk about [original topic] instead?”
  • “I would rather not discuss politics right now, sorry.”
  • “I remember you saying something about your promotion earlier. How did you get that?”
  • “And speaking of that, did you hear about [mutually interesting topic]?”

3 Simple Ways to Improve Your Mood Right Now

(Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | 550 words)

Sometimes you’re just in a bad mood. Some strategies to feel better are:

  • Appreciate what you have
  • Act like you want to feel
  • Give someone a genuine compliment

15 Psychology Tips to Be More Persuasive

(Tanuj Sarva | IYNK | 1875 words)

Some simple strategies to be more convincing.

It’s a good idea to familiarize yourself with these techniques both to use them yourself, and to be aware of when others use them on you.

Some highlights:

  • Explain the reason for your request
  • Compliment the person
  • Talk faster
  • Mirror their speech and action
  • Do them a favor to create an obligation

5 Kinds of People That Make Others Happy and How to Be One of Them

(Leon Collier | Contentment Questing | 1650 words)

Making others happy is one of the best ways to make yourself happy.

Some people are naturals at this, but you can also make a conscious effort. Suggestions include:

  • Send thoughtful emails
  • Plan something nice for your love
  • Listen well

Bonus Boost

Improving Skills to Overcome Impostor Syndrome

(Steven Ray Marks | Rockstar Excel | 575 words)

The story of a time I was thrust into a situation where my only options were to fail or to figure out how to do things better.

And how that experience eventually led to me creating my new site, Rockstar Excel.

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Money, Change, and Relationships – Five Boosts 11/3/20

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Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 11/3/20

6 Strategies to Never Lose a Job and Have Rapid Career Growth

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1925 words)

You can quickly get promotions, and avoid ever getting laid off, with these tactics:

  • Fill a vital function, and do a good job of it
  • Bring in or save more money than you cost the company
  • Be a rockstar at something
  • Be the one who understands how things work
  • Be someone people are happy to work with
  • Be a beast who does a massive amount of work

None of these are gimmicks. Ultimately, they come down to adding value to the company. But most of these are strategies that anyone can do with a concerted effort.

7 Cognitive Biases That Make Us Suck at Time-Management

(Becky Kane | Ambition & Balance by Doist | 4175 words)

Humans are irrational in many ways, but being aware of these can help us overcome them.

This is a long article, but well worth reading, as it suggests solutions to some of the most common mistakes we make in how we spend our time:

  • We focus on urgent but unimportant tasks, instead of the tasks that would yield greater rewards.
  • We can’t stop thinking about all the things we need to get done.
  • We underestimate how long it will take to do things.
  • The sunk cost fallacy
  • We overvalue the present and undervalue the future.
  • We get bogged down in complexities instead of taking action.
  • We pursue things that we think will improve our lives, but don’t make us happier.

How to Create a Budget

(The Millennial Money Woman | 4550 words)

A simple, step-by-step process for:

  • Understanding where your money is going
  • Getting your spending under control
  • Creating a plan for your future finances

6 Times When It’s Okay to Call it Quits and Start Over

(January Nelson | Thought Catalog | 500 words)

Your life path isn’t set in stone, and it’s okay to change directions. Some signs you should consider doing so are:

  • You realize you’ve been making yourself miserable
  • You realize this isn’t want you wanted
  • The only reason you haven’t changed directions is that you feel like you aren’t allowed to
  • You spend every day in tears

As someone who walked away from a successful and lucrative Accounting/Finance career because it made me unhappy, this article really resonated with me.

23 of the Best Relationship Goals to Nurture Intimacy

(Barrie Davenport | Live Bold & Bloom | 6000 words)

It’s important to maintain intimacy in a long term relationship.

These are some excellent tips for making sure that a close, loving, intimate relationship lasts for a lifetime, including:

  • Prioritize each other
  • Communicate with kindness
  • Plan for fun together
  • Perform regular acts of thoughtfulness
  • Have daily connection time

Bonus Boost

25 “Healthy” Foods that are Making You Fat

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2325 words)

There are a lot of foods that are generally thought of as healthy, but contain far more calories than people realize.

It’s easy for people to think they’re doing everything right when it comes to healthy eating, but fail to lose weight because they’re eating way too much of these.

These foods may not be bad for you. But they need to be eaten in moderation, like every other food.

Examples include:

  • Fruit juice
  • Nuts
  • Restaurant salads
  • Avocados
  • Whole grain rice

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Doubt, Optimism, and Decisions – Five Boosts 10/27/20

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Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 10/27/20

Photo by Jill Wellington from Pexels

How to Overcome Self-Doubt – Secrets to Believing In Yourself

(Tanuj Sarva | INYK | 1175 words)

Self-doubt can hold us back from achieving our goals. Common reasons for self doubt are:

  • Comparing ourselves to others
  • Being our own worst critic
  • Overthinking things
  • Fear of failure

Some ways to overcome this are:

  • Make a decision within 5 seconds
  • Direct all your energy in one direction instead of splitting your focus
  • Accept that progress isn’t linear
  • Be okay with mistakes – you’re still learning

10 Incredibly Easy Ways to Live Life Better

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2100 words)

Ways to live better that don’t take any effort, willpower, or time-commitment, including:

  • Write down your goals every day
  • Turn off notifications
  • Don’t take one-size-fits-all advice
  • Realize that nobody has it all figured out
  • Be grateful for the modern world
  • Assign names to your problems and negative feelings

How to Become an Optimist: 3 Daily Habits

(Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | 525 words | Subscribe)

To become more of an optimist:

  • Ask yourself questions to help see the optimistic viewpoint
  • Get optimistic support from the world around you
  • Start your day in an optimism creating way

How to Change a Habit Using This One Simple Rule

(Dean Yeong | deanyeong.com | 775 words)

Yeong suggests that to change habits, start small, and do slightly more each day.

I write a lot about habits. I even named my weight loss book after them. I think this advice might be a bit oversimplified, but it’s certainly a good place to start.

Your Guide to Making Big Decisions

(Sunny Fitzgerald | TheLily | 1850 words)

If you’re struggling with a difficult decision:

  • Assess the moment
  • Make sure you’re in the right state of mind
  • Put time aside to really think about it
  • Get advice, especially from people with different points of view
  • Do the best with what you’ve got
  • Have hope

I found this in Tuseet Jha’s Happier Today newsletter.

See also: Eight Things to Consider When Evaluating Risk

Bonus Boost

Celebrate Your Diet

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 900 words)

Your diet will be much more successful if you see it as an act of joy, and not a miserable burden.

You need a sense of pride and excitement to reward yourself for good eating decisions, in order to turn those good decisions into an automatic habit you’ll be able to keep for life.

If you’re dieting out of a sense of shame, you’ll make yourself miserable. You’ll be motivated to quit so you can stop feeling that shame and misery.

But if you focus on excitement for what your future body will give you, then all your motivation will be to keep going, and to keep that body once you achieve it.

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Creativity, Happiness, And Sleep – Five Boosts 10/20/20

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Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 10/20/20

Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

14 More Incredibly Easy Ways to Sleep Better

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2150 words)

Sleeping better will improve your life in every way.

It will make you happier, more productive, improve your relationships, and allow you to get more done.

Here are some methods to sleep better that don’t take any effort, willpower, time-commitment, or sacrifice.

Related: 15 Incredibly Easy Ways to Improve Your Sleep

5 Subconscious Behaviors Guaranteed to Kill Your Creativity

(Tuseet Jha | tuseetjha.com | 1325 words | Subscribe)

Everyone can be creative. But you may be sabotaging yourself by doing the following:

  1. You don’t think you can be creative.
  2. You refuse to try new experiences.
  3. You assume you are the expert in what you know.
  4. You don’t challenge your assumptions.
  5. You wait for inspiration to strike.

Also, thank you to Tuseet Jha for recommending my Incredibly Easy series in his newsletter.

How to Be Happy in Hard Times

(Melissa Burkley PhD | Psychology Today | 1050 words)

A lot of people are going through difficult times these days. But there are still things you can do to increase your happiness:

  1. Listen to music.
  2. Focus on values.
  3. Connect with others in new ways.
  4. Get outside.
  5. Be grateful.

A 5-Step Road Map for Saying ‘No’

(Erin Zammett Ruddy | Forge | 350 words)

To avoid overcommitting yourself, you need to learn how to politely say “no.” Remember, every time you say “yes” to something, you’re also saying “no” to whatever you would have used that time for.

  1. Remind yourself time is valuable and you can’t get it back.
  2. Ask yourself if you’d be willing to do it tomorrow.
  3. Respond quickly.
  4. Own your “no” if it’s not a priority.
  5. Reframe your “no” if it’s something you wish you had time for.

I found this article in the Recomendo newsletter.

Getting Things Done

(Julia Evans | jvns.ca | 1075 words)

I generally don’t include productivity systems in Five Boosts, because I don’t believe there’s One True Method of Doing Things. Different strategies work for different people.

However this article is more about mindset, and I think it will be helpful to most people.

Evans suggests you:

  • Have a vision
  • Focus by doing one or two things at a time
  • Learn how to break things down
  • Get something done every day
  • Talk to someone when you get stuck
  • Don’t be scared of small problems
  • Do whatever’s necessary
  • Have deadlines
  • Believe in yourself
  • Know you can do a lot

Note that this article is unrelated to the David Allen “Getting Things Done” productivity system.

I found this in Trevor McKendrick’s How it Actually Works newsletter.

Bonus Boost

Don’t Let a Slip Up Make You Give Up

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 825 words)

Everyone makes mistakes.

This is true when trying to lose weight, and it’s true in any other life improvement.

Making a mistake shouldn’t be an excuse to quit.

You should simply learn from it, forgive yourself, and do your best going forward.

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Perseverance, Growth, And Drama – Five Boosts 10/11/20

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Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 10/11/20

Photo by VisionPic .net from Pexels

Yesterday I was feeling tired and unmotivated, and mentioned to my wife, “I have to work on my newsletter.”

She then corrected me: I don’t have to work on my newsletter. I get to work on my newsletter.

It was a good reminder that the choices we make in life are our own, and I assemble Five Boosts every week because I love it.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to send helpful articles out to my audience, and I appreciate you being there to read it.

How to Stop Being Offended by Everyone (in Just 13 Steps)

(Kelly Albano | Dumb Little Man | 775 words)

Getting offended is a choice that you make. Recognizing that will make your life a lot happier.

If you feel yourself starting to get offended, take some deep breaths, and consider the source. Think about whether they really meant offense.

Try and separate yourself from the situation, and examine why you feel victimized. Send loving energy to where you’re hurt.

Listen to the opposing perspective. Don’t try to change other people. Wait before responding. Focus on positivity.

Remember, getting offended hurts you a lot more than it hurts the person you’re offended by.

Related:This satirical ad for “I’m Offended” t-shirts. (Not an affiliate link, and I don’t think the shirts are still available.)

18 Ways to Make Chores Easier

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1875 words)

If you can get chores done in less time, that lets you do more of what you really care about. You’re essentially adding time to your life.

Suggestions include:

  • Pull weeds whenever you see them, instead of waiting for them to get worse.
  • Wash a dish when you wash your hands.
  • Keep a stockpile of non-perishable goods so you don’t have to make emergency grocery runs.
  • Use a shared shopping list app that syncs throughout your household (and smart speakers, if you have them), and add things to your shopping list as soon as you think of them.
  • Listen to audiobooks while driving or doing other tasks that don’t take concentration.

10 Things to Do on Days When You Just Want to Give Up

(Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | 1550 words)

When things aren’t going well and you’re losing your will, try these methods:

  1. Tap into realistic expectations
  2. Remind yourself why you’re doing this
  3. Remember it’s darkest before the dawn
  4. Reconnect with the basics
  5. Learn more and course-correct
  6. Tell yourself: Just for today!
  7. Connect with people around you to let it out
  8. Look back and celebrate how far you’ve come
  9. Cut yourself some slack and take a break
  10. See if it’s time to quit and try something else

3 (Pretty Simple) Ways to Remove Yourself From Drama

(Courtney Carver | Be More With Less | 600 words)

Drama saps our energy, time, and happiness, but can be addictive. To avoid it:

  1. Be honest with yourself. You’re telling yourself a story, but is it a true story? Seriously ask this, and try to see things from another perspective. Also be honest about your motivations for the drama. Is it boredom, fear of direct communication, or habit?
  2. Be quiet. Drama requires your participation. Not everything requires your input. If you simply stay silent, you won’t be involved in the drama.
  3. Be selective about who you choose to spend your time with, and how you choose to spend your time. Ask if you really want to get involved, if your input will actually help, and if there are better things you could be doing.

15 Ideas You Can Steal to Make the Next 12 Months a Period of Remarkable Growth

(Tim Denning | The Ascent at Medium | 1450 words)

Some of the best suggestions here include:

  • Forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it
  • Take an unconventional online course to learn a new skill
  • Write your thoughts down
  • Notice the story you tell yourself
  • Clear out your junk
  • Be more careful about the books you read

Bonus Boost

Six Easy Ways to Stop Mindless Eating

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1125 words)

You can avoid mindless eating by:

  1. Never eat straight from a multi-serving package
  2. Use chewing gum
  3. If you’ll be distracted during your meal, prepare your plate ahead of time
  4. Split your food in half immediately
  5. Don’t stand near the food table at parties
  6. Never eat while drunk or on drugs

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Love, Friendship, and Worries – Five Boosts 10/4/20

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Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 10/4/20

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How to Make Friends as an Adult

(Marisa Franco | Psyche | 3,250 words)

Having a network of friends is one of the biggest factors in happiness. But making new friends once you leave school is difficult for many people.

To do so, you should first assume that people will like you. Then put in the effort to initiate things and connect with people, rather than just assuming friendships will happen automatically. Get vulnerable with people so you can have meaningful shared emotional experiences.

One less obvious suggestion is to find situations where you will repeatedly interact with people, such as classes, book clubs, co-working spaces, church, or community organizations. It’s easier to make friends with people you see over and over than in one-off situations like a networking event.

16 Incredibly Easy Ways to Be More Organized At Home

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2,000 words)

Ways to improve your home that take no willpower, minimal cost, and will ultimately save you time and effort.

Highlights include:

  • Make sure every item has a place that it belongs
  • Keep pens, a notepad, knife or box-cutter, scissors, kleenex, and small trash can in every room
  • Use pill organizers
  • Store things with other items that are used together
  • Use painter’s tape to label things
  • Write expiration dates in easy-to-read sharpie

30 Things Men Wish Women Knew in Dating

(January Nelson summarizing a Reddit thread | Thought Catalog | 1,200 words)

The key takeaways from this thread are:

Be straightforward in your communication, don’t play games, and don’t expect a man to be a mind-reader. Also recognize that men are straightforward and mean what they say.

Be willing to make compromises, and let him have his own space, hobbies, time, and friends.

Treat him well and show him he’s loved. Things like affection, gifts, compliments, and initiating intimacy are appreciated.

Don’t expect men to change, and especially don’t think you can change a man.

If you aren’t interested in a man or want to break up, tell him directly and as soon as possible. “Letting him down easy,” giving hints, or “waiting for the right time,” is much crueler.

As a man who’s been happily married for 13 years, I agree with all this advice. (And I think much of it applies to women as well.)

5 Steps to Put and End to Your Worries

(Dr. Tchiki Davis | Relationship Development & Transformation | 625 words)

To worry less:

  1. Explore the origins of your worries.
  2. Identify your particular worry pattern
    • Catastrophizing
    • Minimization
    • All-or-nothing thinking
    • Overgeneralization
    • Negative attention
    • Rumination
    • Mind-reading
  3. Exercise
  4. Try mindfulness
  5. Talk to someone

Improve Your Marriage By Watching Romantic Comedies Together

(Sarah Dillon | The Ladders | 650 words)

Couples that watch a romantic comedy together and then spend half an hour discussing it can reduce their chances of divorce down the line by up to 50%.

It gives them an opportunity to discuss relationship behaviors and mistakes in a non-threatening environment, by looking through the lens of fictional characters. This allows them to understand their partner’s needs and wants, and adjust their own behaviors.

Bonus Boost

Intermittent Fasting is Easy When You Call It Skipping Breakfast

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 625 words)

“Intermittent Fasting” is a popular diet trend, that you may have dismissed as way too hard.

But it’s really a fancy and intimidating name given to the practice of limiting your meals to an eight hour window each day.

Which you can easily do, simply by skipping breakfast.

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Judgment, Relationships, And Goals – Five Boosts 9/27/20

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Judgment, Relationships, And Goals – Five Boosts 9/27/20

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 9/27/20

Photo by Sara Dubler on Unsplash

3 Helpful Tips to Quiet Your Inner Critic

(Ally Ines | Purpose Fairy | 1,050 words)

Insecurity can paralyze us, keep us from improving our lives, and make everything harder. To combat it:

  1. Give your inner critic a name. An actual person’s name, to help distance yourself from it.
  2. Do something you’ve been putting off. Accomplish some nagging task on your to-do list.
  3. Prepare content for your darkest moments. Gather images, articles, quotes, etc. for you to go to when you’re feeling down or having a freak-out.

12 Incredibly Easy Ways to Save Money on Utilities and Vehicles

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2,300 words)

It isn’t the most exciting topic. But utilities and vehicles are large recurring expenses, and finding easy ways to save money on them can have a significant impact on our lives.

  1. Replace your HVAC filter every 3 months
  2. Put your e-mail address on your phone’s lock screen
  3. Threaten to cancel your cable if they don’t lower your bill
  4. Buy your own internet equipment instead of renting from your provider
  5. Get a smart thermostat
  6. Get oil changes on the manufacturer’s schedule, not every 3 months
  7. Get referrals to an honest mechanic
  8. Buy slightly used cars, except for economy cars
  9. Buy cars at the end of the year or month
  10. Use TrueCar or Edmunds when buying cars
  11. Get pre-qualified for a bank or credit union loan before car shopping
  12. Never get the extended warranty – on anything

And a final piece of advice, which will help your happiness rather than your bank account:

  1. Don’t get hung up over small amounts of money

10 Steps to Achieve Goals

(Remez Sasson | Success Consciousness | 475 words)
  1. Be specific with what you want to achieve
  2. Draw up a plan of action
  3. Make a list of steps
  4. Act, do not be passive
  5. Read and listen to advice
  6. Alternative plans
  7. Examine your goals periodically
  8. Repeat affirmations
  9. Visualize your goals
  10. Take action

How to Overcome the Fear of Being Judged

(Justin Aldridge | Dumb Little Man | 975 words)

Fear of being judged can hold you back and keep you from going after your goals. To combat this, remember the following:

  1. You’re not that important. People are generally thinking about their own lives, not about you.
  2. You shouldn’t care about the opinions of those who are judging you. If someone’s enough of a jerk to look down on you, that’s someone you probably don’t want in your life anyway.
  3. You can have your dreams or your fear of judgment, but not both. You’ll have to push past the fear to achieve your dreams.

11 Valuable Relationship Lessons

(Summary of Dr. Phil | LoudLife35 | 1,475 words)

A summary of the book Relationship Rescue by “Dr. Phil” McGraw.

As someone who has been very happily married for 13 years (our anniversary is this week), I very much agree with all of the advice in this article.

Note: I haven’t read the book and can only comment on the article summarizing it, not the book as a whole.

  1. There’s nothing wrong with legitimate criticism or input, as long as it’s constructive and not fault-finding
  2. Passive aggression is just as harmful as open aggression
  3. Don’t get too complacent
  4. There’s no right or wrong way to make a relationship great
  5. Accept your partner
  6. Focus on the friendship in your relationship

[Personally, I’d say this is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, and one that’s often overlooked. The person you marry should be your best friend. – SRM]

  1. Aim your frustrations in the right direction
  2. Be up-front and forthright
  3. Make yourself happy rather than right
  4. Allow your relationship to transcend turmoil
  5. Make your needs known

Bonus Boost

Goal Weights Don’t Work

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 800 words)

Having a goal weight when dieting is a mistake.

It will lead to you losing weight in the short-term, but then gaining that weight right back (with interest) right after you reach your goal.

Instead, you should focus on building sustainable habits that you’re able to keep for the rest of your life.

Then find a balance between eating habits you’re happy with and a body you’re happy with.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

I usually use this space to share something thoughtful or inspirational, but this week I’m doing something different.

Here is a thread on thirteen self-help books that offer an immediate improvement to your life.

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

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Memory, Happiness, And Confidence – Five Boosts 9/20/20

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Memory, Happiness, And Confidence – Five Boosts 9/20/20
Coins

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 9/20/20

2 Most Powerful Ways to Remember Everything You Learn

(Thomas Oppong | Entrepreneur’s Handbook | 900 words)

We forget 90% of what we learn. This is a normal, healthy function of the brain, filtering out useless information to save room for the important stuff. When there’s information you do want to remember, these techniques are helpful:

  1. Spacing – Relearning the information over time. That signals to your brain that it is something important to be retained.
  2. The 50/50 Rule – Spend half your time learning, and half your time sharing or explaining what you’ve learned.

Related: Accepting Your Memory is Unreliable Will Make You Happier

17 Incredibly Easy Ways to Save Money While Shopping

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1925 words)

A series of tips that can help you save hundreds of dollars a month without any effort, time-commitment, or sacrifice. Some highlights:

  • How to make razor cartridges last for months.
  • Don’t have brand loyalty.
  • Check the per-unit cost when shopping.
  • Use Instacart to compare grocery prices, even if you aren’t ordering from Instacart.
  • How to (legally) get eBooks and audiobooks for free.

7 Simple Habits to Overcome Nervousness

(Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | Subscribe | 1175 words)

If you allow nervousness to overcome you, you’ll perform poorly at whatever it is you’re nervous about. Instead:

  1. Prepare, if possible.
  2. Ask yourself what’s the worst that could realistically happen.
  3. Visualize in a positive way.
  4. Slow down and breathe with your belly.
  5. Pretend the person you’re meeting is already a friend.
  6. Remember people don’t think about you that much.
  7. Tell yourself you’re excited.

20 Little Things that Secretly Make You Unhappy

(Tanuj Sarva | Iynk | 1,725 words)

A list of mistakes you might be making that are sabotaging your happiness. Once you identify any that apply to you, some simple awareness can go a long way toward breaking the habit. These include:

  • Believing everyone should play by your rules.
  • Waiting for your dreams to come true to be happy.
  • Not making time for the right things.
  • Holding grudges.
  • Being a perfectionist.
  • Caring too much about what others think.
  • Playing the victim card.
  • Thinking you don’t deserve happiness.

3 Five Minute Confidence Boosters

(Anouare Abdou | The Ladders | 750 words)

To pump up your own confidence:

  1. Collect evidence of your skills and abilities.
  2. Visualize your future self, after you’ve achieved greater success.
  3. Use bridge thoughts to connect where you are now to where you want to be.

Bonus Boost

Why I Don’t Believe in Cheat Days

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 750 words)

A “cheat day” in a diet disrupts the habit-building process, and reinforces the notion that eating right is a burden while eating like a drunk grizzly bear is a celebration.

Needing a cheat day is a sign that your entire weight loss strategy is flawed.

Instead, you should build the lifelong habit of making good decisions about what you eat. And sometimes good decisions can include eating unhealthy things, as long as you do it in moderation.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

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Good Enough Grounding And Productivity – Five Boosts 9/6/20

Written by Steven Ray Marks Leave a Comment on Good Enough Grounding And Productivity – Five Boosts 9/6/20
Photo by Morning Brew on Unsplash

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 9/6/20

From Productivity Wishfulness to Mindful Productivity

(Anne-Laure Le Cunff | Ness Labs | Subscribe | 1100 words)

Many productivity systems that promise to make you superhuman are just fantasy.

Some telltale signs are that they make unrealistic demands, promise unrealistic results, or are advocated by a guru-like personality.

Studying these can become a form of procrastination itself. Instead, focus on building a system that works for you individually, based on your own individual needs and tendencies.

Develop this system by identifying bottlenecks, making time for self-reflection, managing your information-diet, and learning by doing.

Related: Don’t challenge yourself!

I found this in Khe Hy’s Rad Reads newsletter.

13 Incredibly Easy Ways to Improve Your Finances

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2300 words)

Ways to improve your finances that take no ongoing willpower, effort, and minimal time-commitment. Some highlights:

  • Invest your money in index funds without paying attention to the stock market.
  • Don’t use a savings account
  • Max out your company sponsored 401k match
  • Get a rewards credit card, and pay it off every month
  • Don’t use debit cards
  • Set up automatic bill pay
  • Refinance your mortgage and student loans right now

Good Enough is Just Fine

(Lawrence Yeo | More to That | 1150 words)

There’s no such thing as perfection.

But perfectionists can hamper their efforts by endlessly chasing this quality that doesn’t exist. And thus they never release their work.

Instead of struggling for the unattainable 100% standard, aim for a “Good Enough” standard of 95%.

Related: Perfectionism Paralysis Can Be Beaten By Half-Assing It

Replacing Negative Thoughts With Positive Thoughts

(Barrie Davenport | Live Bold & Bloom | 2500 Words)

Remind yourself to regularly examine your thoughts. And when they are negative, try to replace them with positive thoughts.

For example, replace “I am helpless” with “I am powerful and in control of my own destiny.”

Replace “Nothing good ever happens to me” with “I am surrounded by an abundance of opportunities.”

Replace “I am so angry at that person” with “I respect and love myself enough to let go of anger and live in peace.”

7 Grounding Exercises For When You Feel Overwhelmed

(Steven Handel | The Emotion Machine | 1650 words)

When you find yourself feeling stressed or overwhelmed, try grounding yourself in the present moment with these techniques:

  • Five Senses: What do you see? What do you hear? What do you feel? What do you smell? What do you taste?
  • 10 Slow, Deep Breaths
  • Mindful Stretching: Yoga, Tai Chi, or just stretching while paying attention to your body.
  • Nature Bathing: Go outside and take a walk. Ideally in a forest or park, but if that’s not convenient, just getting outside is helpful. Or if you can’t get outside, watch a video of nature.
  • Spend Time With a Pet or Stuffed Animal
  • Feel-Good Smells
  • Sound Meditation: Take 30 seconds to listen to the world

Bonus Boost

Who’s to Blame For Your Weight

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 700 words)

Focusing on blame when it comes to weight is unhelpful. Blaming yourself is demotivating and unfair, because you may have been cursed with a lousy metabolism.

But saying you’re not to blame is also demotivating – that’s just making excuses.

Instead, focus on taking ownership. Your weight may not be your fault. But only you can take the necessary actions to improve it.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

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