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Fear, Investing, And Impostors – Five Boosts 8/2/20

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 8/2/20

The Incredibly Simple, One Sentence Guide to Investing

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 1700 words)

The one sentence is:

Once you’ve paid off all your credit card debt, invest as much as you can in your 401k, and park your money in an index fund without paying any attention to the market.”

That’s all you need to know about investing.

Anything more complicated will give you worse results.

The article gives more detail on why this is the case, what an index fund is, and how to pick which index fund, so it’s definitely worth reading. (If I do say so myself. 😉)

21 Ways to Overcome Impostor Syndrome

(Kyle Eschenroeder | Startup Bros. | 3100 Words)

Impostor Syndrome is the feeling that you’re not qualified to be doing your job, and that everyone will realize you’re a fraud. It’s shockingly common, even among elites and experts.

It’s hard to summarize this lengthy article, because each of the 21 diverse suggestions will resonate with different people.

But if this is something you ever suffer from, or you ever haven’t pursued something you wanted because you thought you weren’t qualified, I highly recommend reading this.

I found this article in For the Interested, which gives advice mainly directed toward online creators, but is useful for everyone.

Optimism 2020: A Manifesto

(Trevor McKendrick | How It Actually Works | 450 Words | Subscribe)

Fifteen suggestions on being more optimistic, including:

  • Focus on things you can influence.
  • Do something today instead of daydreaming about tomorrow.
  • Move fast. Most decisions can be reversed later.
  • Recognize the pie is not fixed and life is not zero sum.
  • Believe we can solve any problem.

6 Strategies to Overcome Fear

(Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | 1400 Words | Subscribe)

  1. Ask what’s the worst that can happen.
  2. Write out the fear.
  3. Change your perspective.
  4. Question your fears and what they’re based on.
  5. Breathe and take a moment to accept the fear.
  6. Take small steps forward.

How to Change Your Personality For the Better

(Olga Khazan | Next Big Idea Club | 600 Words | Subscribe)

Most people assume that their personality is fixed.

But you actually can change your personality if you want.

All you have to do is act the way you want your personality to be, and eventually your personality will change to follow your actions.

I found this in Nir Eyal’s Nir and Far newsletter.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

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Giraffe Punching, Apologies, and Goals – Five Boosts 7/26/20

Giraffe Punching

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 7/26/20

Stop Giraffe Punching to Be More Tolerant, Less Stressed, Have a Better Outlook, and Be Happier Overall

(Self Helping Yourself | Steven Ray Marks)

Giraffe Punching is repeatedly lecturing an audience that already agrees with you, or telling them to stop doing something none of them are doing, in a condescending and insulting way.

The term comes from it being pointless to yell at people to stop punching giraffes.

This is something that everyone does, when they get frustrated by bad behavior in the world and then take it out on the wrong people.

But making a conscious effort to stop will make you happier, improve your relationships, and improve your perspective on the world.

How to Talk to People Who Disagree With You and Still Be Kind

(Tanya Basu | MIT Technology Review)

I changed the headline of this article.

It’s actually about talking to conspiracy theorists, but it’s excellent advice for talking to anyone who disagrees with you.

Speak respectfully, privately, and test the waters first.

Find an element you agree on.

Use a “truth sandwich” or Socratic method.

Be careful with loved ones, remember that some people don’t want to change, and if it gets bad, stop.

And remember that even if you don’t change someone’s mind, every pleasant interaction you have makes people more open to your view. (Though unpleasant interactions make them even more skeptical of your view.)

See also: How to Win Allies and How to Stop Making Enemies.

How Good Apologies Enhance Our Well-Being

(Molly Howes, Ph.D. | Mind Body Green)

Being more willing to genuinely apologize after wronging someone will lead to better relationships and increased self-respect.

It also provides a good example for children, helping them develop a sense of empathy.

A good apology involves understanding the other person’s injury, articulating sincere regret, making reparations, and making a plan so it doesn’t happen again.

25 Ways to Dramatically Increase Your Chances of Reaching Your Goals

(Ayodeji Awosika | Medium)

Some suggestions include:

Write your goals down. Get quick wins. Don’t brag about things you haven’t yet done. Focus on one thing at a time. And align goals with positivity.

I agree with most of the 25 items on this list, but not all of them. I suspect Awosika would be totally fine with that, since one of the items is “Don’t be a self-help robot.”

So pick and choose the suggestions that you think will work well for you.

5 Habits to Take Action Every Day

Henrik Edberg | Positivity Blog | Subscribe)

Change requires consistent daily action. But it can be hard to maintain motivation to keep that action going.

To fight this:

1. Focus on the process rather than results.

2. Remember why you are taking action.

3. Remember quitting or laziness will make you feel bad about yourself.

4. Take smaller steps on days when big ones seem too daunting.

5. Celebrate what you did each day.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

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Win Allies, be More Persuasive, and Get the Most Important Things Done – Five Boosts 6/14/20

Win Allies

Five easy ways to make your life better for June 14, 2020.

How to Win Allies (Part 1 of 2)
(Self Helping Yourself | Steven Ray Marks)
It’s better to win allies than create enemies. We ought to view discussions with those who have different views as an opportunity to learn and/or persuade. But most use it to try to score points in an imaginary game of “Who’s the Worse Person,” which only turns people into enemies. Here’s how to win people over instead.

Stop Confusing Habits For Routines
(Nir and Far | Nir Eyal)
routine is something you do regularly. A habit is something you do automatically. If a routine is unpleasant, difficult, or cognitively demanding, it may never become a habit. Expecting a routine that fits into this category to eventually become a habit will only lead to frustration.

How to get Your Most Important Work Done Today
(Medium/For The Interested | Josh Spector) [soft paywall*]
Pick what matters most, do it first, make it painful to not do it, make a list of things you won’t do, and treat the morning and afternoon like separate days.

Four Words to Make You More Persuasive
(Ladders | Michael Thompson)
Adding, “You will probably refuse” to a request makes people much more likely to agree. It piques their curiosity, and makes them more comfortable by establishing that there’s no pressure.

Five Lessons to Remember When Lockdown Ends
(Greater Good | Jill Suttie)
Being with others is key to happiness. Reducing stress is good for everyone. Showing gratitude matters. We need less stuff than we think. We are stronger when we act together.

[* Medium lets you read a limited number of articles per month, but you can always open the link in an incognito window.]

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Some of the best ways to feel happier:
– Be kind, friendly, and genuine, whether or not people “deserve” it.
– Acts of charity.
– Believe in self-efficacy.
– Avoid negativity.
– Celebrate achievements/forgive mistakes, for you/others.
– Recognize the positive in the world.
– Forge connections and community

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