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Judgment, Relationships, And Goals – Five Boosts 9/27/20

Five Easy Ways to Make Your Life Better for 9/27/20

Photo by Sara Dubler on Unsplash

3 Helpful Tips to Quiet Your Inner Critic

(Ally Ines | Purpose Fairy | 1,050 words)

Insecurity can paralyze us, keep us from improving our lives, and make everything harder. To combat it:

  1. Give your inner critic a name. An actual person’s name, to help distance yourself from it.
  2. Do something you’ve been putting off. Accomplish some nagging task on your to-do list.
  3. Prepare content for your darkest moments. Gather images, articles, quotes, etc. for you to go to when you’re feeling down or having a freak-out.

12 Incredibly Easy Ways to Save Money on Utilities and Vehicles

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 2,300 words)

It isn’t the most exciting topic. But utilities and vehicles are large recurring expenses, and finding easy ways to save money on them can have a significant impact on our lives.

  1. Replace your HVAC filter every 3 months
  2. Put your e-mail address on your phone’s lock screen
  3. Threaten to cancel your cable if they don’t lower your bill
  4. Buy your own internet equipment instead of renting from your provider
  5. Get a smart thermostat
  6. Get oil changes on the manufacturer’s schedule, not every 3 months
  7. Get referrals to an honest mechanic
  8. Buy slightly used cars, except for economy cars
  9. Buy cars at the end of the year or month
  10. Use TrueCar or Edmunds when buying cars
  11. Get pre-qualified for a bank or credit union loan before car shopping
  12. Never get the extended warranty – on anything

And a final piece of advice, which will help your happiness rather than your bank account:

  1. Don’t get hung up over small amounts of money

10 Steps to Achieve Goals

(Remez Sasson | Success Consciousness | 475 words)
  1. Be specific with what you want to achieve
  2. Draw up a plan of action
  3. Make a list of steps
  4. Act, do not be passive
  5. Read and listen to advice
  6. Alternative plans
  7. Examine your goals periodically
  8. Repeat affirmations
  9. Visualize your goals
  10. Take action

How to Overcome the Fear of Being Judged

(Justin Aldridge | Dumb Little Man | 975 words)

Fear of being judged can hold you back and keep you from going after your goals. To combat this, remember the following:

  1. You’re not that important. People are generally thinking about their own lives, not about you.
  2. You shouldn’t care about the opinions of those who are judging you. If someone’s enough of a jerk to look down on you, that’s someone you probably don’t want in your life anyway.
  3. You can have your dreams or your fear of judgment, but not both. You’ll have to push past the fear to achieve your dreams.

11 Valuable Relationship Lessons

(Summary of Dr. Phil | LoudLife35 | 1,475 words)

A summary of the book Relationship Rescue by “Dr. Phil” McGraw.

As someone who has been very happily married for 13 years (our anniversary is this week), I very much agree with all of the advice in this article.

Note: I haven’t read the book and can only comment on the article summarizing it, not the book as a whole.

  1. There’s nothing wrong with legitimate criticism or input, as long as it’s constructive and not fault-finding
  2. Passive aggression is just as harmful as open aggression
  3. Don’t get too complacent
  4. There’s no right or wrong way to make a relationship great
  5. Accept your partner
  6. Focus on the friendship in your relationship

[Personally, I’d say this is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, and one that’s often overlooked. The person you marry should be your best friend. – SRM]

  1. Aim your frustrations in the right direction
  2. Be up-front and forthright
  3. Make yourself happy rather than right
  4. Allow your relationship to transcend turmoil
  5. Make your needs known

Bonus Boost

Goal Weights Don’t Work

(Steven Ray Marks | Self Helping Yourself | 800 words)

Having a goal weight when dieting is a mistake.

It will lead to you losing weight in the short-term, but then gaining that weight right back (with interest) right after you reach your goal.

Instead, you should focus on building sustainable habits that you’re able to keep for the rest of your life.

Then find a balance between eating habits you’re happy with and a body you’re happy with.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

I usually use this space to share something thoughtful or inspirational, but this week I’m doing something different.

Here is a thread on thirteen self-help books that offer an immediate improvement to your life.

Be sure to follow @YourselfHelping on Twitter.

Enjoy Five Boosts By Self Helping Yourself? Be sure to Subscribe and check out the Self Helping Yourself site.

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Be Happier and Don’t Make Enemies – Five Boosts 6-21-20

Don't Make Enemies

Five easy ways to make your life better for June 21, 2020

How to Stop the Spread of Social Media Garbage
(Self Helping Yourself | Steven Ray Marks)
We all lament the spread of fake news, misinformation, and social media hate. But we tend to think of it as other people’s fault. In reality, it’s all of our faults, and it’s up to each of us as individuals to take responsibility for our own behavior and stop it. Here are tips on how to do so.

How to Stop Making Enemies
(Self Helping Yourself | Steven Ray Marks)
When trying to improve the world, people have a tendency to get overzealous and alienate others, doing their cause more harm than good. Here are tips on avoiding this pitfall. This is the follow-up to last week’s How to Win Allies.

How to Plan Your Day for Peak Performance
(Addicted 2 Success | Lorraine Kipling)
Suggestions on scheduling and when are the best times to do certain types of tasks. While I feel like this article is useful, one caution I’d give is to not feel like you have to slavishly adhere to these rules to the second. Different people will have different chronotypes. See the book When by Dan Pink for more information on this subject.

How to Turn off Political Ads on Facebook
(TechCrunch | Taylor Hatmaker)
Nobody likes seeing political ads. You already know who you’re going to vote for, and whether the ad is for someone on your side or the opposite side, it will just stress you out. Now there’s an option to not see them at all. I’d prefer if there was a way to hide political posts as well, but this is better than nothing.

15 Easy Ways to Be Happier
(SuccessConsciousness | Remez Sasson)
Here are 15 easy habits to build, ways to reframe your thinking, and changes in attitude that can dramatically increase your happiness, with very little effort.

Self Helping Yourself Tweet of the Week

Wishing things were different only brings regret/anger/sadness. If you want things to be different, you need to start by accepting the world as it is, not as you wish it were. And *then* take action to change it.

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